Cold Hearts
by plannedbyReaperLight
Summary: AU After a brush with death Light resolves to catch Kira unaware that he is a suspect. Future Yaoi LightxL, LxLight
1. Rebirth

A/N: I do not own _Death Note_. Death Note is the property of Ohba and Obata.

This is another one inspired by the kink meme:

http : / / community . livejournal . com / dn_kink2 / ? page=11# comments

This was also somewhat inspired by another fic called _The Probabilities of Love_ which was never finished and is now sadly lost forever.

The pairing will be Light/L, L/Light.

* * *

**Chapter 1 Rebirth **

**"It's today, isn't it?"** Rem asked gently as she approached where Gelus was, as usual, moping by the viewing pool, watching the Human World. **"That human's last day alive..."**

As Gelus watched how the human laughed and chatted politely with some others as he went to school Gelus sighed dejectedly **"He seems so happy, so full of life... I wonder... Why today?"**

* * *

The human in question, one Light Yagami, had just been walking home from cram school that night when he was accosted by a strange, knife-wielding man.

"I'm always watching you! I want to protect you forever!"

Light did the sensible thing and ran for his life...

"STOP IT!"

His assailant was much bigger and faster than him and soon had him trapped against the alley wall.

"If I can't have you... NO ONE CAN!"

The knife came down.

* * *

**"He's going to get stabbed to death? Woah! What a way to go!"** Rem exclaimed as she watched as the human in question sustained deep cuts on his arms as he attempted to block the assault, trying desperately to stay alive. Then she looked over and noticed that Gelus had his Death Note out and he was writing in it frantically.

**"Hey, stop it! What are you doing?"**

* * *

Light's entire form shook as he wheezed for breath where he was slumped, bleeding, against the alley wall. He struggled to remain standing as he looked warily over to where his attacker had collapsed. He had just stopped mid-slash and Light was still expected his eyes to snap back open and for him to come at him again like something out of a horror movie.

There was a flash of lightning and the sky began to weep. The rain mixed with his already weeping wounds. Light watched stupidly for a moment with detached fascination as his blood flowed down into the gutter before his survival instinct kicked in. He tore a scrap from his already ruined dress shirt and worked to stem the bleeding from the defensive wounds he had sustained on his arms and cautiously began to creep away from the scene.

Light had almost managed to calm himself when there was a sudden thump next to him. It wasn't a very loud thump but in his current state that alone nearly caused Light to have a heart attack. Light whipped around to see the source of the sound—and that didn't make sense! A notebook just fell out of the sky? But there it was—black, bound in leather, with a series of odd glyphs on the cover. The book just lay there innocently on the ground… untouched by the pouring rain and... was it slightly smoldering on the concrete? Light felt drawn to the book by an odd compulsion almost as if the book was... calling to him.

Light picked it up with a trembling hand... and screamed, tripped, and fell backwards when suddenly a large white monster was there looming over him having just appeared out of nowhere. Light desperately scuttled away even as he knew he was cornered here.

"**Please! I'm not going to hurt you!" **entreated the creature.

_Well,_ Light thought cheerily to himself. _Maybe I've finally gone off the deep end... or maybe my stalker poisoned the blade... _because Light didn't really believe what he was seeing with his own eyes as he continued to stare, appraising the large white thing before him. It looked monstrous but intelligent... well it walked like a human, and it could speak, obviously. But it was NOT HUMAN. That much was apparent what with the scales and bony spines, Medusa-like purple-white hair and golden cat-like eyes... but mixed in were a few anthropomorphic traits. it looked like it was wearing... lipstick? And were those tattoos on its face? And golden hoop earrings dangled down from his? ...her? pointed-ears.

"**I'm not going to hurt you," **Rem insisted as she crouched down next to the terrified boy.** "You're safe now." **

Light just blinked slowly and repeated "Safe...?"

The monster seemed to reach out to him with a clawed hand, a worried expression on its face, but then seemed to think better of it.

"**Light Yagami. I am the Shinigami Rem… and that notebook is my gift to you." **

_A Shinigami? A God of Death? And it says it's not going to hurt me? Why would it give me a notebook? _When it slowly became clear he wasn't going to get attacked a second time that evening Light slowly got to his feet, with as much dignity as he could muster.

"Why? W-what is this?"

Other than the decorative cover it looked like nothing more than a normal college bound notebook.

"**That's a Death Note. The human whose name is written in it shall die."  
**A... weapon? He was holding a murder weapon.

"But... why give this to me? What...?"

Light cracked it open to see a number of names written inside. Rem pointed with her claw, tapped at the last name written, and then glanced over to the cooling corpse of Light's stalker.

Light put two and two together and held the Death Note to his chest with trembling hands...

This is the thing that killed his attacker? The monster... it _saved him?_

"**Later,"** Rem insisted. She was worried that she was only further traumatizing this young man. **"For now let's just get you home."**

"Home?" Light stumbled and the monster caught him. Light looked away, humiliated.

Up until tonight Light had been working under the assumption that he could take care of himself. If he just stuck with his life plans and endured the tedium nothing bad would ever happen—nothing that he couldn't overcome anyway... This night had shattered his sense of safety and trampled his pride... and now the creature had its arms around him and captured him in a protective hug.

This was _really_ awkward. Light really wanted to push it away because dammit! He _could_ take care of himself! He COULD! He didn't need... (You almost died. You would have been stabbed to death by a knife wielding maniac and there was nothing you could have done. If not for... you would have...)

Light's survival instinct was still on high at the moment–somehow mouthing off to a God of Death, even a seemingly benevolent one, didn't seem like a very good idea. However the creature seemed to sense his discomfort and broke away. It looked him right in the eye.

"**I will not hurt you, but I am bound to follow you." **

Well just because the monster was being polite and not killing him at the moment didn't necessarily mean Light wanted it to... _It followed me home, mom, can I keep it? _

Light sighed. He knew he had no way of stopping it from following him...

"**You're the only one who can see me, unless they touch the notebook…"**

Well... that was a relief...

Without really even thinking about it Light slid the notebook under his shirt, and tucked it into the waistband of his jeans out of sight—well it was a murder weapon after all and he didn't want anyone touching it now...

Light stood up straight and began to purposely make his way away from the scene... he absolutely _refused_ to acknowledge that he was now jumping at every shadow.

Rem sighed. _Such a prideful human. Still,_ _it's what Gelus would have wanted..._ **"I will protect you."**

Light hated to admit it but he did feel a little better about that. In fact it might just make this whole "bond" thing worth his while—he could always sic his new monster friend on anyone else who tried to kill him.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Light asked the Shinigami in a low voice as they walked by some store fronts. It was probably the least he could do since it saved his life and all...

**"I do not require sustenance."**

Well, that was another plus, the Shinigami would cause him absolutely no trouble and... another thing occurred to Light.

"I don't think it's safe to talk to you in my house."

The Shinigami said nothing and just continued to watch over him; though it nodded in understanding.

Out of a slight feeling of guilt for having to snub the one that saved his life, Light felt the need to elaborate... "Because I _know_ someone has been in my room..."

It all started when Light was an impressionable six year old and had gotten into his father's case files and read all about _them_... thieves, kidnappers, rapists, murderers...

It made for calming bedtime reading at the time but overall the collective effect was—it scared the shit out of him. That's when he began setting up the test on his door with the handle, the paper, and the pencil lead...

Intellectually he knew he was being paranoid. It's not like he kept anything of great value in his room and besides, who would be stupid enough to try anything against the son of the Chief of Police... but still going through that ritual made him feel better.

Or it did...

But then about a week ago Light found the door handle up, the pencil lead broken, and the paper stuck back in the door. At the time Light had just hoped that it was something like his little sister (or maybe one of her friends) had figured out what he was doing and was just trying to mess with him because the alternative meant that someone had been in his room… But now that he _had_ been attacked by an actual stalker that was all the confirmation he needed that he _wasn't_ just being paranoid—_They_ really were out to get him.

The only question left—was it the same stalker that was currently taking a dirt nap in some unnamed Tokyo alley or did he have another stalker?

Rem was looking at him questioningly.

Light wondered if he should explain... well it's not like the Shinigami could tell anyone and he couldn't exactly tell anyone else about it. If he brought up his concerns with anyone else they would want to know why he had all those tests on his door and his paranoia would come under question and...

Light had learned at an early age—he was expected to act a certain way and any... _abnormalities_ were bad and meant a trip to the psychologist with his parents and other adults glowering at him in disapproval. So from an early age Light learned how to play normal, all the while resenting the fact he was surrounded by absolute morons who couldn't behave themselves—really was it so hard? He made a conscious effort to behave himself, to achieve perfection every day of his life! Would it _kill_ them to do the same? And he had to dumb down EVERYTHING just to communicate with these idiots—students and teachers alike.

Some days he wished they would all just die.

But now Light had that power—and it scared him...

"They didn't take anything so... they might have installed cameras and wiretaps..." Light explained to Rem why he thought he had another stalker...

"**I can check… if you want?" **

"Thank you," Light whispered grudgingly, awkwardly, and looked away. He was again in the Shinigami's debt and he still didn't even know WHY it was helping him.

Light stopped at a department store to buy some medical supplies (making up a story about how he was attacked by a large dog to tell the clerks) and replace his ruined shirt. He then stopped at a public restroom to properly clean and bandage his wounds. There was no question. He would hide it. He would wear long-sleeve shirts until those wounds healed and he would never tell _anyone_ about what actually happened tonight. The way Rem was looking at him was bad enough—he didn't want pity! He was going to be a detective one day, just like his father!

He couldn't afford to let them think he was so... _weak_ that he couldn't even defend himself against...

_What have I really done with my life up to this point? Nothing! I've done nothing! I've achieved nothing! I'm just wasting away here! And if not for Rem I would have__** died**__ today! _

Light laughed brokenly. _Here lies Light Yagami. He did nothing with his life. He was killed by a piece of cutlery. _

Light saw the Shinigami looking at him with some concern reflected in the bathroom mirror.

"Rem... I am not ungrateful, but why? Why did you save me?" There must be some... _reason_, some _purpose_ he was given this second chance?

"**I didn't. It was Gelus." **

"Gelus?"

"**Promise, NEVER to repeat this to anyone." **

Light promised. He _could_ keep a secret.

Light felt sick with guilt as Rem related her tale. Rem's friend had _died_ for him. He never knew the guy, he never asked him to... and still...

_I am literally living on borrowed time... _

Light felt even _guiltier_ for somehow expecting something more, he was seriously hoping for a moment there that he'd get a message like "you're the Chosen One, here's your purpose for living, you were meant to protect the weak and rid the world of evil—here have a magic sword."

Nope, his being alive followed no greater Plan. It was all arbitrary—in fact he was _meant_ to die tonight.

And, nope no magic sword either. Just a notebook that kills people... (well that's what a sword is used for too but anyway...)

No. He was only _still alive_ because for some unfathomable reason a Shinigami had taken a liking to him; _loved_ him enough to die for him.

_Wait, Rem knows this and is still offering to protect me! _

Light revised that former idea of 'sic Rem on any knife wielding maniac that came along'—that would kill Rem! Here was another Shinigami that was offering to...

_I just... don't understand?_

Well that was another new experience for Light, another one that he did not like _at all_.

Light removed the notebook from his ruined shirt and simply stared at it.

"**I think Gelus would have wanted you to have it…" **

"How... how do you use it?"

Light had no intentions of becoming a murderer but the fact remained he was carrying a weapon. He needed to know the specs so that he knew of any potential dangers. Was there any danger of it "misfiring"? Was there any other price to holding it?

Rem explained the rules...

**"If you don't specify the cause of death the victim just dies of a heart attack..."**

Holy shit.

Kira.

Kira used a Death Note to commit his murders!

Light hadn't really thought about it before because he was preoccupied with the little fact that he had nearly been stabbed to death while walking home from school but...

"Is there another Shinigami and another Notebook in the Human World?"

"**Yes. The Shinigami Ryuk. I don't know how or why but he somehow tricked the Shinigami King into letting him carry a second book and then he gave that notebook to a human." **

"Do you know who that human is?" _This! This is exactly what I've been looking for! Now I have a purpose—maybe with this information... I can help catch Kira! _

"**I don't and even if I knew I couldn't tell you, it's forbidden." **

"Forbidden..."

Upon seeing Light's scheming look Rem elaborated **"If I knew and I even tried to tell you, I'd die."**

Light sighed, "Fair enough."

Rem looked conflicted as she informed Light **"There is a way for a Notebook owner to instantly tell if another human has a notebook…" **

Light listened as Rem explained the Shinigami eye deal.

_Yeah, my magic eyes "Detect Kira" like that would ever hold up in court. And for half my lifespan?_ _I'm living on borrowed time as it is!_ _Just how much did Gelus have? Would it be considered rude to ask? Does Rem even know?_ _In any case I've been given this second chance. I shouldn't squander it. _

"It's out of the question."

Rem looked relieved.

Meanwhile Light had finished bandaging himself up, returned his Death Note to its hiding place in the waistband of his jeans, and dressed himself in the new shirt having disposed of the bloody one. He checked himself in the mirror making sure there wasn't a hair out of line and he didn't look at all like a traumatized teenage boy who just survived a brush with death. Speaking of which...

Light smiled cheerily at the Shinigami.

"Well, Rem, let's go home."

Rem spread her leathery wings and lazily flapped along behind him.


	2. Closeted

A/N: I do not own _Death Note_.

* * *

**Chapter 2 Closeted **

"Honey, you're home late today..." Sachiko announced as Light came home; Rem floating in unseen behind him.

"Yeah, well you see I—" Before Light could finish that lie his mother held out her hands expectantly.  
"Oh right... calculus test."

"I've been waiting all day!"

Light made sure that the bandages were hidden under his shirt-sleeves as he listlessly handed his mother the paper.

"Goodness, number one again!"

"Yeah, I guess... I'm going to go study in my room now."

"I can't wait to tell the neighbors!"

Rem watched that little exchange and was slightly disturbed. She had only known Light for a short-while but even she could see that he was absolutely miserable... Yet it seemed his own mother couldn't see beyond his test score.

"Do you want anything, sweetie?"

"No I'm fine, mom. Thanks though..."

Light closed and locked the door and then sagged against it as the events of the day caught up with him.

Rem floated in through the wall and confirmed Light's suspicions.

"**You were right. There _are_ cameras in here… a lot of cameras. I've found six so far..." **

Light began to go about his normal routines—if he didn't his stalker would know that he was on to him. He shed out of his rain-drenched coat and took his shirt off, the notebook hidden in the wad of shirt thrown haphazardly in a pile on the floor. Light tried to hide his rising anxiety as Rem kept counting cameras.

Dammit, his stalker would see the bandages on his arms. There was no way to hide that under these circumstances. With his luck they'd probably think he was a cutter or something.

_Wonderful. _

_But __**who**__ would be spying on me? Why? Why install this MANY cameras? _

This wasn't a typical mouth-breather. Your run-of-the-mill stalker couldn't AFFORD to install this many cameras...

Speaking of hiding things, Light concealed his Death Note in the clothes pile and covertly slid it into the lining of his favorite jacket as he fished around in the clothes pile, disguising the motion as searching...

"Ah, _that's_ where I put my keys!"

Well... that was a slightly better than keeping it down the front of his pants but he definitely had to find a better hiding place... (Preferably something that didn't involve a booby trap that would blow up his house or leaving it out in the woods or something where any idiot could stumble upon it.)

Whatever he did—he didn't want his stalker knowing about it. It looked like he'd have to "find" one of the cameras and then show it to his father when he came home...

Part of the problem was he wasn't sure WHAT he wanted to do with the Notebook. It was dangerous to carry around but it was also dangerous to leave lying around and he didn't really want it out of his sight. On the one hand he wanted to help the investigation and turn it in to the police but... that idea didn't sit well—of letting someone else handle his Death Note. Light had no intention of using it but... could he trust anyone else _not_ to use it? His father maybe? That wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to...

But it had to be done.

Yeah, when his dad came home he'd go straight to him and share this information (if he ever came home—he'd been at work going on a week now, this was getting ridiculous.)

In any case, he'd have to show Rem to his father and whoever else was on the investigation to prove he wasn't lying or crazy and since he had no intention of breaking his promise to Rem... he'd have to make up some story about how he found the Death Note, that he just _accidentally_ happened to stumble upon Kira's powers and...

Yes, he'd share what he knew about the Death Note to help the investigation.

But he _couldn't_ hand over the notebook!

It was too dangerous! Some _rotten_ individual somewhere was sure to get the bright idea of turning it into a political tool...

Besides, it was _his_, it was a gift! (Would Rem be offended if he gave it away?) And...

And the Notebook itself had an odd draw to it... it was _absurd_. It was like it was calling to him.

The very idea of parting with it was _painful_. Even now Light had an urge to go check on it, he wanted to get it out, to hold it, to write in it—_NO!_

That was something that hadn't really crossed his mind and now he was kicking himself because it really should have.

_Rem's so nice... but..._

_But what if the Notebook itself has a corrupting influence on the owner?_

_What if there was a... compulsion to kill?_

_Maybe I __**should**__ turn it in... But then whoever else ends up holding it... wouldn't it do the same to them? _

Light ignored the screaming headache he was getting as he declared in his mind:

_I won't use it! I won't let anyone else use it! _

In any case he had to keep it at least for now because if he lost it or gave it up he'd forget everything he learned and... and he would lose Rem.

Light was finding that he enjoyed the Shinigami's company. He was quiet, he didn't bother him or make demands—in fact he was very helpful and promptly answered his questions, honestly Rem was quite possibly the first intelligent life he had ever encountered...

And Rem _listened. _He really listened to what Light had to say...

Just then Light noticed that Rem had paused in camera hunting and was staring at him as he wandered shirtless around his room.

Light glared at Rem and demanded "What?" and then hastily added "...am I going to do for that group project tomorrow..." in an exhausted tone.

Rem quickly looked away and... was the Shinigami _blushing?_ **"Sorry… Just… you are a very beautiful human. Any girl would… I may be dead… but I'm still female."**

_Wait... Rem is a girl? _Light looked away nervously and hastily put on a dry shirt.

Light had just assumed Rem was a guy because he... _she_ (this is going to take some getting used to) was... intelligent and easy to talk to. Granted his own experiences with girls were limited to his mother, his sister, and the shrieking idiots he went to school with but...

Rem is a girl... This... complicated things. Did this mean Rem had feelings for him? Did he dare begin with the "I think we should just be friends" speech or if he rejected her would she kill him? Would he... have to _date_ her? Sure he was grateful to Rem but she was, well, a monster and not in the least bit attractive. Not that that would have really made a difference even if she _was_ an attractive human girl. Light had absolutely no interest. He only dated those giggly morons because that was expected of an "ordinary high school senior" but he always considered it a drain on his time and energy. There were so many more important things he could be dong. In any case he would have to clear this up as soon as possible. Tomorrow, away from the cameras, he'd have to try and somehow persuade Rem not to fall in love with him—from the sound of things that wouldn't do her any good anyway (in fact it would be lethal).

Light sat at his desk and booted up his computer and rechecked the data he had previously compiled on Kira's killings but he didn't really learn anything new. He already had deduced that Kira needed a name and face to kill so... Kira didn't have the eyes. Though now that he knew that Kira could kill by means other than a heart attack... he should probably sort through all deaths in the Kanto region and see if there were any that were suspicious or stood out... he was dreading that, it would probably be just a lot of work for nothing but... someone had to do it. Light began that monumental task of compiling the data when his mother called him down to dinner.

"**I'll stay here and search for cameras…"**

Light subtly nodded and then went downstairs.

"Ooh! Hideki Ryuuga is so dreamy!" Sayu gushed at the television as Light sat down to eat. "And Misa-Misa! She's such a great actress!"

"Sayu, eat your dinner!" their mother scolded.

"I'll eat later! Wha—? Woah..."

"What is it?" Light asked when he heard his sister suddenly become serious.

"It says that Interpol is sending fifteen hundred investigators to Japan to hunt for Kira..."

_Idiots!_ His father had told them that Kira found and killed the last group of investigators they sent in! So why would they send fifteen hundred agents to their deaths! Unless...

"Maybe it's a bluff to lure Kira out of hiding?" Light mused out loud.

"Eh?" His sister looked at him questioningly.

"I mean, think about it... those F.B.I. agents were killed by Kira, why would this be any different? It makes more sense if they're trying to shock Kira into revealing himself somehow. Anyway, I hope that's what that is... Otherwise... it's just stupid."

* * *

Light returned to his room just as Rem floated in through the floor. **"Light, I searched the house and… Promise to stay calm?" **

What kind of question was that? Of course he would stay calm! He was calm, he was cool, he was controlled... (Except for when some crazed stalker was trying to stab him to death...) Light subtly nodded...

"**There is one camera in every **_**other**_** room of the house... There are sixty four in your room." **

Light worked to control his breathing. (See? Calm, _totally_ calm... _oh GOD!_)

_Obviously I'm dealing with a very rich... probably influential and powerful stalker... And how did he get __**this many**__ in the house without dad knowing about it?_

_Unless... _

_Did L and the police instigate an illegal search to try and find Kira? Would they go that far? _

_But why were they in __**our**__ house?_

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

It was something that hadn't really occurred to him before—but HE fit Kira's profile.

He was a highly intelligent student with a strong sense of justice... and now he too had Kira's... powers.

_But... I would never hurt... I would never kill anyone! _

_But sixty-four cameras just in my room! I'm not just a suspect. I'm their PRIME SUSPECT!_

Now he almost HAD to find the real Kira first in order to clear his name...

"**Light?" **Rem asked with concern.

Light had unconsciously began to fiddle with his bandages as he mulled over the fact he was probably suspected of mass homicide; all the while trying to ignore the incoming headache that he was developing from his stubbornly ignoring the siren call of a certain little black book.

And now his wounds had come open.

_Just great. _

Light inspected the damage in the bathroom. Well, it wasn't as bad as he feared. He re-bandaged his arm, figuring he could yet avoid a trip to the hospital. At the moment Light was more pissed off that he was being watched then that he was injured. There was no hiding it now, they would all know, they would all see his... _weakness_.

Well, at least he would be able to confirm his suspicions. If and when his dad ever came home this week his father would no doubt at the very least act differently around him if he at any time saw the wounds.

But that left what to say if asked.

Somehow Light didn't think his dad, who knew full well what knife wounds looked like, would buy the dog-attack lie.

That left... the truth or at least a version of it... but he _really_ didn't want to. The outcome was so predictable—they would baby him, institute curfews, and ground him "for his own good." Why should he be punished for what someone else did (or rather tried to do) to him? That wasn't fair! Light refused to let an attempt on his life _ruin_ his life.

He'd learn from this experience! Yes, that was another thing to do tomorrow—sign up for self-defense classes...

And besides he wasn't powerless! He had Rem! He had the Notebook—

_Which I will not use in any way, shape, or form! _

_That clinches it. I have to at least put it out of reach; it's too much of a temptation otherwise. _

Tomorrow... he'd figure all that out tomorrow. Right now the bed had an even greater call than a certain black notebook.

Light began to change into his nightclothes... only to see Rem staring at him again.

"Do you mind—?" Light snapped but then remembered the cameras and turned it into a loud yawn.

"**I'm sorry..."**

That's right... Rem! What was he going to do with sleeping arrangements!

"**I don't need to sleep. If I'm making you uncomfortable I can wait outside…"**

Light sighed. _It's still raining outside and though it didn't seem to bother her in polite society we don't make our friends sit out in the rain!_

Light shook his head no and disguised the gesture by making it seem like he was shaking his head trying to stay awake a little bit longer.

Rem was troubled. She was supposed to stay near Light but it was clear that her staring bothered him...

"**Then I'll just…" **

Light watched Rem from the corner of his eye as she hid herself away for the night... As he drifted off to sleep Light thought nonsensically, _I have a Shinigami girl staying in my closet._ _It's official. I'm living in a Shonen manga._


	3. Easy

**A/N:**_ I do not own._

00000

**Chapter 3 Easy**

Light looked around in a detached way. He was back in that alley, his attacker coming at him with the knife...

Light watched dispassionately as the knife cut into him again and again before he lashed out and snatched the knife away from his attacker, there was a crescendoing scream as Light turned the knife on his attacker and thrust it into the heart of his foe.

His opponent crumpled in front of him as Light slumped, horrified, against the wall, clutching the bloody knife in his hand.

_I… I KILLD him… _

_But he deserved it! _

_He was rotten! _

_He is… judged. _

The knife suddenly turned into a little black book.

_But if I judge one…_

_I must judge them all. _

Blood and ink stained his hands…

_They're all rotten! _

_They all have to go…_

Light brought a pen to the page and began writing.

So many names… He couldn't stop…

"**Light?" **

Light suddenly woke with a start as he suddenly felt a cold hand on his shoulder. Rem was there looming above him; looking down at him with concern.

"**You were crying in your sleep." **

Light just sat in his bed trying to catch his breath for several minutes.

_It would be SO EASY… _

00000

"L, stay the fuck out of my way… STFU you fag… you're the evil one… go die in a fire."

L double-checked the suicide notes written in blood and yes, that was the message Kira had sent. Well, that wasn't nearly as sophisticated as he was somehow expecting from Kira. It actually made him begin to doubt his profile… Though that might have been what Kira was counting on and this message was an attempt to throw him off his trail.

_No, it HAS to be Light Yagami. Who else could it be? _

00000

Later and elsewhere that someone else has just heard that fifteen hundred investigators are entering Japan. Uncovering the identities of the FBI agents had been hard enough but now they were sending in fifteen hundred agents! This individual is now firing off an angry, anonymous e-mail to SakuraTV while ranting aloud:

"How many of you idiots do I have to kill before you understand that I'm _saving_ lives here? I'm a hero God dammit! You want me to be the bad guy? _You want me to be the bad guy?_ Then fine! I'll show you! I'll show you all what happens when you cross me!"

Ryuk cackled as he watched his human, _Too funny._

00000

L watched as Light returned home late at night looking more subdued than usual and he seemed to have suddenly developed an odd habit of talking to himself that he didn't have yesterday.

_Very curious. _

Light removed his shirt and revealed that his arms were bandaged up. Next to him the Chief sucked in a breath.

_Now that's interesting…_ L thought. _Maybe someone somehow found out he was Kira and tried to kill him? Or maybe the guilt from being Kira has manifesting in such a way… Is he a cutter? Did he survive a suicide attempt? _

Light continued to dig himself deeper. L observed how Light worriedly, obsessively, sifted through all the public information on the Kira case.

L waited until Light sat down to eat dinner with his mother and sister and made sure the Kitamura's were watching as well when he sent out the order to have the broadcasters play his message so that he could watch Light's reaction…

"_Maybe it's a bluff to lure Kira out of hiding? I mean, think about it… those F.B.I. agents were killed by Kira, why would this be any different? It makes more sense if they're trying to shock Kira into revealing himself somehow. Anyway, I hope that's what that is… Otherwise… it's just stupid."_

L grinned around his thumb. _Gotcha._

"Your son is very clever…"

The Chief looked over at L not really liking where this was going. "Well… yes."

L noticed that when Light was back in his room and thought he was alone and unwatched he dropped his calm façade and looked really worried… and then there were the defensive wounds. Both L and the Chief recognized knife wounds. Those weren't there yesterday.

"When did that happen? Why didn't he say anything?" The Chief was ranting next to him

L concluded that someone must have tried to murder Light and he didn't report it. Why not report it unless he had something to hide? And who other than Kira could escape a situation like that unscathed?

L bit his thumb. It was almost… too easy…

L didn't move from his perch on the chair and just continued to watch Light all night as he slept restlessly and then woke in the middle of the night to some sort of night terror. It was obvious that something was weighing heavily on his mind.

Light was indeed a disturbed young man but the question remained if he was Kira. Light was a perfect match for Kira's profile—he was too perfect in his "normalcy," and he had the intelligence, the ego, the connections, the moral absolutism, and the budding sociopathy—L wasn't sure why he was beginning to doubt it. It was just a gut feeling but that paled in contrast with facts of the case.

And the facts were damning.

When L told the suspect's father that there was only a five percent chance that someone in those households was Kira (and by _someone_ he meant Light). That was a lie. He suspected Light with a ninety percent certainty. There was little doubt in L's mind—Light was the vigilante serial murderer known to the world as Kira. Getting evidence was the only remaining ten percent preventing L from saying that Light is Kira with absolute certainty and arresting him.

That and L knew that Kira could control the time of death so if he brought Light in it would only make him look innocent in the eyes of the officers (which included Light's father and family friends…) Besides L was enjoying the challenge, he didn't want to end the chase too soon, and he had yet to discover _how _Light killed...

The next day L watched as Light was at it again sitting in front of his computer…

"Woah seriously? The serial killer wall of death?" Matsuda commented as Light tacked more newspaper articles up on the wall. The Chief shot daggers at the rookie officer.

"Matsuda! He's just researching the Kira case!" The Chief defended.

_But… _L mused with some irritation, _Matsuda has a point._ _Light is so… obvious it almost makes me not want to believe… _

00000

The purple-haired Shinigami looked over Light's shoulder as he worked.

"**Hey, you! Why don't you go out and get some fresh air?"**

_Rem. You know I've got to do this to clear my name! And you know I can't talk in here! _

"**Do you really think Gelus would want you wasting your lifespan away locked up in your room?" **

_A guilt trip, really? I was wasting it before! _

"**All you ever do is work! Why don't you go hang out with your friends or something?" **

Light grunted but didn't look up from the article he was reading.

"**Or… the people you pretend are your friends." **

_Whatever... Working here… _

"**Do you actually have any friends?"**

_You can shut up now. _

Just then the door bell rang. It was Taro and Yamamoto from school…

_See, Rem, I have friends… _

"Hey, Light, you know this latest assignment…"

"Please, please, _please_ buddy?"

Light sighed. "Okay, come on in…"

In order to keep Taro, and his lewd comments away from his innocent little sister, Light invited them up to his room...

"Woah, obsessive much?"

"It's just research…" Light defended.

"On Kira…"

"I'm just looking at patterns…"

Light rolled his eyes as they continued to make surprised and impressed noises. "It's just math… you know like that thing your refusing to do…"

"Seriously, how do you do all this and still stay at the top of the class?"

"When do you have time to do all this and…"

"Man, you suck! This is _totally effortless_ for you, isn't it?"

Light removed the math textbook from his book bag. "Do you want help with this or not?"

Taro held out his hand. "Answer key?"

Light rubbed the bridge of his nose "If you're just here to _copy_ my homework than please leave."

"Aw, don't be like that!"

"You're such a boy scout!"

Light made an annoyed sound. "You won't learn anything!"

"Please, Light!"

Light authoritatively pointed at the door and in a commanding voice shouted "Out!"

"Yes, your majesty," grumbled Taro.

Meanwhile Yamamoto had finally torn his eyes from Light's graphs and now was staring at him… and now they were "alone" in the room together.

Well, this was awkward.

Light hadn't really spoken with Yamamoto one-on-one since that "accident" in the boy's locker room...

"Hey, Light we should like… hang out later, you know?"

_What's with the turn around?_ Light wasn't sure when he began to think aloud… "What? You don't call, you don't write… and you still haven't given me a New Year's card."

"Don't tell me you're still sore about that!"

Yes he was still sore about _that_ (he had been sore for days afterwards…)

Yamamoto just kept staring at him.

"Yamamoto, come on!" Taro called from the other room, "Maybe Ryo has the answer sheet!"

"Yeah, yeah, coming, Taro." Yamamoto turned back and said quietly "Talk later, promise?"

Light didn't look up from his work. "Yeah..."

Light glanced up from his work in time to see a flash of concern on Rem's face but before he could question her about it he was distracted by what was playing on the TV.

_A message directly from Kira! _

Kira was saying that if the real L didn't appear on TV he'd kill all the heads of police agencies around the world one by one until he did…

_Dad! _

_And Kira is JUST demanding that L show up on TV and isn't asking for his name… _

_Kira has the eyes! _

00000

**Earlier **

The street gang chased their intended victim down an alleyway... an intended victim that, unknown to them, just happened to be Kira.

_They're going to kill me! _"Shit!"

It was a dead end; there was nowhere left to run.

Kira heard the clank of the metal pipe that they intended to use on his skull…

_I have no choice… _

"Ryuk, I make the trade. Give me the goddamn eyes!"

As the crooks neared their intended victim he was scribbling frantically on a piece of paper.

"What'cha writing, you're last will and testament?"

"Heh, good one boss."

"No seriously," the leader opened his switchblade "I'm about to gut you like a fish. What could be so fucking important?"

The crook's chosen victim yelped as the paper was swiftly ripped away.

The crook, Shibumaru Takuo, whose name was inexplicably written on the scrap of paper along with the names of his underlings; gaped as suddenly a large, many-fanged monster was looming above them.

"Holy god what is that?"

"Takuo, what is it?"

Kira ducked behind the dumpster as the crook began shooting ineffectually at Ryuk until he and the others died of heart attacks forty seconds later.

"I'm sorry. You left me no choice," Kira never liked killing but it was… necessary. "And the Notebook is my only weapon."

Ryuk was rolling with laughter.

"What's so fucking funny?"

"**You must realize, you would have survived, they only intended to scare you! Otherwise you wouldn't be alive right now." **

_No! I had no choice! They were evil! It was necessary! They would have hurt others! They would have killed others! I saved so many others by eliminating them! I'm a hero… _

00000

_I have no choice. _

Even if he was a suspect… after watching that broadcast Light knew he had to come forward; he had to trust in somebody sometime or he'd never get anywhere… and if he withheld this information it could put so many more lives in danger! The police, his father…

_And it MUST be L watching… _

Light had long followed the legendary L—and he HAD to have the truth…

So Light wrote down in his case notes in full view of the cameras:

_It is possible for Kira to kill with just a face. _

_Kira uses a Shinigami's weapon to commit his murders. _

_Kira can kill by means other than a heart attack—"accident", "disease", "murder," and "suicide" are all valid causes of death. _

_Kira can control his victims' actions for up to 23 days before they die. _

There was no going back now…

_L are you reading this? _

_I have come into possession of a weapon like Kira's. _

_It may have a corrupting influence on the owner but if I give it up I'll forget everything I've learned. _

_Please use this knowledge for the benefit of the Kira investigation. _


	4. Nothing To Hide

**A/N: **I do not own _Death Note_.

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**Chapter 4 Nothing To Hide**

"**Light, what are you doing?"** Rem demanded as she saw what Light had written in his case notes.

As with Gelus before, Rem was powerless to stop him and could only watch as her new friend penned his own doom.

Light leaned back in his chair, a defeated look on his face. He knew full well that he had just screwed himself over. He forced a grin as he left his notes on his desk.

"Hey Rem, want to play some video games?"

"**But… we're on camera." **

"Exactly."

"**Please, Light? This is foolishness!" **

"It's too late to stop it, it's done. Please, Rem? Just one game? We don't have long."

Rem sighed and picked up the proffered controller.

00000

L's ice cream had fallen in his lap as he stared at the screen in shock as he watched what Light wrote in his case notes. Mr. Yagami wasn't fairing much better as Light proceeded to have a conversation with the empty air and then sat down next to the floating game controller to play video games with the invisible entity.

L bit his thumb until it bled.

_He knows that he's being watched? He knows he's a suspect? Yet he's coming forward with this information that is tantamount to a confession. He knows full well that if we decide he is Kira he'll be sentenced to death... maybe those cuts WERE from a suicide attempt._

_But the message Light is sending was quite clear "I'm not Kira, I am a cooperating witness." _

_What's worse is that that message feels... believable..._

_But that can't be! If Light isn't Kira... then who is the Kira I've been fighting all this time?_

_If... IF Light isn't the Kira I have been fighting then it's obvious it was the Kira broadcast that spurred Light to take this drastic action... _

_But what other purpose would it serve for Kira to so irredeemably incriminate himself like this? _

_Well, maybe that was what he was counting on us to think? Maybe he's trying to get close to me so that he can kill me. But he should know better than to think that L would come near a potential Kira after learning information like that! _

"Ryuuzaki..." The Chief still stood beside him, looking pale.

L sighed. "There's no choice. We have to bring him in..."

00000

Light continued to play video games with Rem until they heard the door bell ring.

Light was surprised to see just a couple of officers waiting at the front door instead of say, a whole SWAT team...

"Light Yagami, if you would come with me please," asked the guy with afro in a perfectly pleasant tone that brooked no room for argument.

"Wait, what's this about?" Sachiko demanded she saw the strange men came to the door wanting to take her son away. Aizawa and Mogi showed their fake I.D.s.

"Dad's work, right?" Light asked. They nodded.

"I'm just helping with a case, mom... dad can tell you..." Light began when they steered him towards the door. "Uh... Should I get my notes?"

"No. You are to come with us immediately."

"I understand."

"Get in," the big guy motioned towards the waiting limo.

_Well, either this really is L... or we're being abducted by the mafia. _

"Wear this," they demanded.

Light put on the blindfold.

He grimaced at the feel of the handcuffs biting into his wrists but only felt a stab of fear when he felt the needle in his neck.

"We're giving you a sedative now. When you wake up, you can expect we'll have some questions for you."

"Yeah... okay..." Light muttered already getting really groggy. "Listen... you can't... show your... face..."

00000

Meanwhile L was watching everything, hearing everything, testing everything.

There was no point to sending in a secret assault team since he was expecting them to come. But now if Mogi and Aizawa suddenly dropped dead the case would be closed.

Light was totally cooperative and didn't try to fight it.

L hummed softly around his doughnut as he watched the monitors. "It looks like... this is exactly where he wants to be..."

_Just what are you planning, Light Yagami?_

The Chief scowled.

"My son can't be Kira! Why would Kira come forward to help the police?"

"Hmm… good question. I suppose we'll find out soon enough... The sedative wears off in an hour."

The Chief was even more eager to begin questioning than L was because he _needed_ an alternate explanation.

00000

When Light awoke in total darkness and he felt a stab of fear.

_The blindfold. It's just the blindfold, right?_ Light still felt the bite of the handcuffs, and his movements were restrained...

"**They've handcuffed you to a chair." **

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out for myself, thanks..."

"**You knew this would happen."** It wasn't a question.

"Yes. It was inevitable..."

Meanwhile L watched as Light woke up and began talking to himself (?) or rather to the alleged invisible entity he had showed to the cameras with the floating game controller. L wondered how he pulled that off that trick and just what purpose was that supposed to serve other than further incriminating himself.

Sure Kira apparently killed through some seemingly supernatural means. But to suggest the existence of something like a Shinigami? L would only believe it if he saw it... and maybe not even then...

However as L continued to listen to one-side of the conversation he realized that this was either incredible acting or Light seemed to actually believe there was something there.

"Kira threatened my father! What would you have me do? The alternative means sitting back and watching the police officers get killed one by one!"

Light waited for several seconds and appeared to be listening to something. He gave a heavy sigh and added "I know it's going to be rough but I need you to not freak out, okay? ...No. you can't! No matter what happens to me... Promise me! ...I've just... I've just got to do this."

Rem sighed. **"Why must you be so stubborn?"**

Just then there was a screeching sound (a microphone) and a disembodied, filtered voice filled the room "Light-kun, may I ask who you're talking to?"

"Rem..." Light said quietly. He worked to steady himself and stay calm under these circumstances to answer that disembodied voice (it can only be L).

"What was that?" asked that mocking voice.

_He's trying to elicit a response but I won't give it to him. _

"I was talking to Rem. She's a Shinigami."

"You really expect me to believe that?"

"Yes. In my jeans pocket there's a vial. In it is a piece of the weapon. If you touch it you can see and hear her."

Light had enough time to prepare that at least—it was just a fiber of paper torn from the book, not enough to write on by any stretch of the imagination but enough to prove his story...

L gaped at the monitors. "You brought physical evidence with you?"

No, it couldn't be this easy! This wasn't like Light Yagami. It wasn't like Kira...

"I was going to just show her to dad but then... that broadcast..."

"Mr. Matsui..."

Mastuda entered the cell and fumbled around in Light's pockets to retrieve the vial... while Light was restrained and blindfolded. This was really awkward...

Matsuda found it the small vial and inside was an even smaller fiber of something… it was so small it was hard to tell what it was for sure.

"Just touch that to see her," Light insisted.

"Mr. Matsui, you will do no such thing. Have Aihara-san take it to the lab and have it analyzed," The disembodied voice from the P.A. system ordered.

Light looked shocked and a little annoyed.

"Its complete nonsense for the investigator to take suggestions from the suspect," decreed the P.A. system.

Light sighed. "I understand."

"Are you ready to confess?"

Even with the blindfold covering up half his face L could read that resolute, defiant expression.

"I'm not Kira! I am a cooperating witness! Go on, ask me anything! I have nothing to hide!"

00000

L kept at it for hours but Light stuck with his story—and what a story it was:

"_Well, you see the other day when I was walking home from school, I made a new friend. She's a Shinigami. She gave me a Shinigami's Weapon as a gift. No, I haven't tested it. The existence of the Shinigami was confirmation enough. No, I don't intend to use it. No I'm not turning it over—it's for your own good! Why? I told you I think it might corrupt the owner... If I give it to you, you could become Kira. I will not have that on my conscience!" _

It was a story that L recognized was full of holes but Light was sticking to it.

And it continued...

Light lost track of time. Hours were becoming days...

00000

"No, I'm still not Kira. I won't be Kira no matter how many times you ask me..."

"Light-kun is not taking this seriously."

"Light-kun is very serious," Light grumbled in frustration. "It's just that nobody is listening."

00000

L took a brief break from his questioning to sit down and eat a whole box of doughnuts on his own when he saw the others gathering round. They looked angry. This was the final straw considering one of L's interrogation techniques involved "forgetting" to give the suspect any food or water for days at a time...

_Here it comes... _

"Ryuuzaki, this is completely unreasonable!"

"Newly broadcast criminals are still dying, Ryuuzaki! My son is not Kira."

"Let him out!"

The others murmured in agreement of "He's not Kira!"

"He's still lying!" L shouted over them, his face was hidden beneath his fringe of bangs "And from what he told us there must be more than one "Shinigami weapon" out there. It's perfectly possible for Light to be a Kira..."

"You're contradicting yourself! You're own tests are showing he's not Kira! What's it going to take for you?" Aizawa shouted.

"I suppose... I have to find out what he's hiding. Because he IS hiding something…"

"Of course he's hiding something! He's a teenager!" Matsuda pointed out in a flash of insight.

"Light-kun lost any right to privacy the moment he agreed to this. If he's truly innocent, then he should have 'nothing to hide,' right?"

"He came forward as a cooperating witness!"

"He can't take much more of this..." stated Mogi as he watched how Light sagged against the restraints.

"He is Kira or he is connected to Kira. We will find out which it is," the others groaned in unison as L sounded like a broken record.

_I will discover your secrets... _

Even if it destroyed him.


	5. Bound

**A/N:** I do not own.

00000

**Chapter 5 Bound**

"Ryuuzaki!" Watari began over the intercom.

"I know. I heard," L said tersely. It seemed Kira was beginning to make good on his threat to kill the officers. _But he didn't go after the NPA and Mr. Yagami first? That's highly suspicious..._

_Still even if Light isn't Kira... (No. If I assume that, I'll lose.) _

_He must have some connection to Kira... _

L's much abused thumb returned to its spot between his teeth.

Nothing added up. But he needed answers quickly.

But first... cake.

L padded into the kitchen but when he got there the cake wasn't in the fridge.

"Wha—?"

L pulled up footage of the kitchen to see who dared to steal his cake and was greeted with footage of… flying cake.

And that was only minutes ago...

The other cameras showed how the cake and a glass of milk went floating down the hall.

L gaped as he watched how the cake was just hovering there in the cell.

_Light-kun stole my cake? _L thought incredulously. Well he wondered why Light wasn't complaining about being hungry by now...

_No, there was no way that could have been set up beforehand... There was no way for Light-kun to know about the cake. And if Light was Kira and has some psychic "far-seeing" power I would likely already be dead. _

He would have to accept that there really was some other presence there with Light.

_Shinigami do exist... _L thought, horrified, _And its feeding Light my cake._

L stoically returned to the observation room and clicked on the intercom.

"Watari, is any of that paper scrap left over from testing?"

00000

L sat in his hotel observation room, a neglected bowl of ice cream melting on the table in front of him, the vial sat in the palm of his hand.

"_Touch it to see her!" _Light had pleaded.

_It could be a trap... it probably is but... _  
00000

Earlier when L was chasing his cake down he had attempted to communicate with the presence.

"Are you Rem?"

"_YES"_ It had answered him by smearing a message on the wall in red cherry frosting. It was there for a scant few seconds before being smeared out again, at an angle that wouldn't be picked up by the cameras. The message was for him alone: _"RELEASE HIM, L LAWLIET." _

L wasn't sure if he imagined it or not when he felt something brush past him but he had felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck.

"Ryuuzaki, are you alright?" Watari who as usual was watching on via the surveillance cameras phoned his ward.

L realized to his eternal embarrassment that he had screamed. L glowered at the crimson frosting smear. He did not take well to threats.

000000

_...about this at least it seems Light is telling the truth... _L thought as he crouched in his candy-striped pink and red comfy chair. Unnoticed behind him the others had arrived early today.

"Ryuuzaki..." Aizawa began.

Meanwhile on the monitors that poor kid was still chained up and blindfolded. It had been days. Matsuda clenched his fist and had a resolute look in his eye that as usual went unnoticed by the rest of the team.

"Is that...?" Mr. Yagami dared to hope when he saw the vial L had in hand.

"Yes... I was considering...**"** L began when Matsuda lunged for it.

"Matsuda!" the others scolded out of obligation but not very hard or with much enthusiasm as the rookie made a mad grab at the vial.

L deftly caught the vial as Matsuda fell on his ass.

"W-whoa!"

But the vial was already opened. In the tussle Matsuda had somehow got the fiber of paper into his hand. Matsuda had gone pale; his jaw was straining open and close trying to string the syllables together... "That's... that's got to be the Shinigami... it's... big."

"There really is something there?" Mr. Yagami gasped. "Is it hurting him?"

"No it's just... standing there."

On the monitors Light sagged against the bonds and continued mouthing his mantra of "just gotta get through this..." Light grimaced. His muscles were constantly screaming at him from the abuse of being stuck in this position for so many days. Still he refused to show just how much this hurt.

Matsuda saw the Shinigami run its hand through his hair before glaring angrily in the direction of the cameras. "It looks... worried."

"No adverse effects Matsuda?" L questioned.

"No..." Matsuda began, and after a moment becoming slightly incensed when he realized the implications that L saw him as a guinea pig.

L sighed. "If anything happens to me after I touch the paper, Light Yagami is Kira."

Matsuda passed him the fiber.

L sat their shell-shocked for a moment. In the meantime Matsuda passed the fiber around to the others.

Meanwhile L clicked the mike on.

"Shinigami… Rem was it? Why are you here?"

Light blinked slowly (though it didn't make much difference as he stared off into the dark of the blindfold) when his sluggish mind realized that L was not addressing him.

_They finally did what I suggested days ago... _

Light was so exhausted in every way.

Rem glared at the camera. She had half a mind to fly up to L's room and give him a piece of her mind. But she didn't want to leave Light, chained and blindfolded as he was, all alone in the dark.

"**You can see me—good. Then you know this boy is telling the truth! Release him!"**

"I do not..."

"Ryuuzaki!" shouted the others.

Rem spread wide her white leathery wings and flapped into the air making herself look bigger and more menacing as she growled out **"Release Light Yagami or I'll kill you."**

"Rem, stop it!" Light shouted and strained against the handcuffs.

"What's happening?" The Chief demanded and then took hold of the paper fiber and saw for himself.

L was about to respond when the Chief gave a startled cry.

"Dad?" Light shouted when the mike picked up his father's screaming.

"It's a monster!"

"Dad, it's alright! I told you! It's just Rem. She won't hurt you!" Light pleaded frantically.

_That would make you suffer, wouldn't it? _**"Of course not."**

"GET AWAY FROM MY SON!" the Chief shouted.

"Dad, she doesn't hurt me! Please, stop this! She's my only friend!"

L blinked slowly at that. He had a confession but not the one he was looking for. Light was known to be very popular… he was very outgoing, he had _lots of friends_, he led a _perfect life_ but now he's saying that he considers the Shinigami to be his only friend?

"You're bluffing," L addressed the Shinigami. " If you could kill me than wouldn't you have done so already?"

The Shinigami glanced at the bound boy. **"Light doesn't want me to. But if you continue to make him suffer like this I will." **Rem snarled.

"Rem, stop it! We're here because I'm trying to save them! If you kill them, all of this, it would be all for nothing!"

L stared down the Shinigami through the monitors. "Let Light know I do not respond well to threats. If anything happens to me Light will be executed as Kira."

"**Light, they're talking about killing you!" **

"Just... no. _No one_ will be killing anyone!"

"**Light…"**

"If they'll just listen… it's worth it."

"**Light… Please!" **

"Don't worry about it," Light whispered as he drooped against his restraints "I was supposed to die that day anyway."

L bit his thumb. Now he was getting somewhere. _Which day? What are you so guilty about? ...And Light has an obvious martyr complex... _

L silently raised the Kira percentage.

Subdued, Rem quietly landed and folded her wings, resuming her place at Light's side.

"**As you wish." **

L blinked owlishly. "Can Light-kun control the Shinigami?"

"No I can't. She's just my friend, that's all."

L seemed very interested in his fudge sundae for a moment before trying again. "You didn't answer my question, Shinigami. Why are you here?"

"**To protect Light Yagami," **it answered bluntly.

L pondered for a moment. It seemed the Shinigami was far easier to trick than Light.

"Why? What's so special about Light? Is it because he is Kira?"

"**No. He is just special to me. He is innocent! So if you keep hurting him..."**

"Rem... please... That's not helping."

00000

"Ryuuzaki..." The others began again as L spooned his fudge. L sighed. The Shinigami just threatened his life so why were they still taking Light's side?

"You know death threats don't go far to demonstrating Light's innocence. All we've really determined is that the Shinigami is fiercely loyal to Light Yagami."

"Exactly! If Light really was Kira he could have had that Shinigami kill us at any time!" Aizawa pointed out.

"That's right," The Chief finally found his voice, from where he was slumped in his chair. Upon seeing Light's monster pal, Mr. Yagami had spontaneously gained a few white hairs. Matsuda looked concerned as he handed him a glass of ice water. The Chief was still looking rather pale... "At least... this proves he's innocent."

"It's been a week! You have no reason to keep him locked up anymore!"

"He is still a suspect," L said obstinately.

Aizawa stepped in front of L getting pissed. "You just don't want to admit you were wrong about Light!"

"Yes... I figured you'd say that."

"Come on, Ryuuzaki! Do the right thing and let him go!"

The others chimed their agreement.

L ignored them as he considered his options. He stared at the monitors where Light still sagged hopelessly against the restraints, the Shinigami looming behind him was glaring at the camera through narrowed eyes.

_Just when we were making progress… But I need answers quickly. Light obviously isn't telling us everything..._


	6. Hell

**A/N: **I do not own _Death Note_.

000000

**Chapter 6 Hell **

Pain was just part of his existence now. His senses were becoming dulled to everything. Perhaps he should be worried about that but really he was more concerned about maintaining his fraying sanity in the lines of L's relentless questioning. But even those verbal sparring matches were welcome compared to Nothingness—those times when L left him alone to rot in the dark—that was the worst thing—the boredom. Rem would sometimes tell him about the Shinigami world or some of the things she'd seen. That helped while away some of the time. But still his genius mind never stopped thinking, analyzing, processing information as he stared into the inky blackness of the blindfold.

_Kira is a student with a strong sense of justice… He is smart and covered his tracks... If only we could figure out __**how**__ the FBI's names were leaked that might generate a lead... _

He was thinking in circles, obsessing over every detail, continually planning for the future—even if it looked like he didn't have one. It seemed unlikely L would ever let him out of here. But Light always was an optimist, often against his better judgment.

Also he had a final coming up.

Light wasn't sure why that should be as big a concern to his drifting mind as Kira, rogue Shinigami, and L but, he supposed it was the one thing he could hope to control the outcome of, provided he ever got out of here. (But should he be hoping that L release him before or after the test so he can wheedle the teachers into letting him take a make-up and thus have time to study? He could probably pass it regardless... _if_ L ever let him out of here.) In his boredom he had already run through all the rote memory exercises of the various formulae he had long since memorized, the periodic table, conjugating various verb forms, vocabulary list of the week... Yes, if L ever let him out he'd _so_ ace that test (not that there was ever any doubt).

He knew the exact dimensions of the cell he was in. He could guess the make and model of the P.A. system L used to communicate with him and where the speakers were relative to him. The chair was steel, as were the cuffs. The third link was weaker than the others...

Light knew Rem would help him escape if he ever asked her but that would do nothing to help prove his innocence and would undermine everything he had so far sacrificed for.

Sometimes during the silent times when he would drift in that dark place, not quite sleeping, where he would build his own little world in his head. A happy place, a simple realm inspired by childhood stories where good was rewarded and evil was punished. And while he kept himself occupied with adventures ultimately everyone was safe and happy, because as the Hero and Creator of that world (of course he was the best warrior in the land, and sorcerer, and magician and…) it was _his_ world and he could do whatever he wanted and none of the fictional characters would ever dare to say otherwise. Perhaps he should be concerned he was spending so much time "there" or even that he thought of it as a "there" perhaps he was beginning to lose touch with reality...

He was just about to ride off to battle that obnoxious masked warrior that spoke in a buzzing mechanical voice that haunted his dreamscape again when he was jolted back to reality by the sound of his cell door screeching open.

"W-Watari?" The old man was his only visitor and if he was back again it could only mean he was going to receive either basic care like food and water (unlikely) or "preparations" for another round of questioning (more likely). Light hated how his voice sounded so weak when he asked, and also the instant the question had left his mouth he knew it was wrong. The visitor's footsteps sounded different. Instead of the steady tap of leather shoes the intruder padded in quietly... like he was barefoot (?)

"No" the other replied an even baritone. It was a voice Light didn't recognize.

Light managed to keep his breathing steady as he heard / felt the stranger's approach.

Rem let out a low growl.

"I'm going to unchain him now," the stranger said in a bland, placating tone.

_What's going on?_

Light didn't dare hope that L had actually agreed to release him. It had to be another trick or test, testing both his and Rem's reactions. Or maybe this guy was a member of the Taskforce acting on his own in which case he had to steal himself to decline any escape offers and stay here. He wanted _out_ so bad but again to do so would undermine everything...

The chains fell away and Light sagged in his chair and then for a panicked moment he was falling when the stranger caught him. Light swore his heart skipped a beat as the stranger helped him gently to the ground.

_So weak,_ Light cursed as he realized his muscles had become useless after being tied up for so long. Recovery was going to be a bitch. That is, if he was allowed it at all.

Swiftly and silently, long fingers dexterously lifted the blindfold and Light's namesake became a curse that burned his eyes. Intellectually He knew that the cell was dark but after being blindfolded for so many days even this dim light was painful.

Light let out an involuntary groan (and he heard Rem take a protective step closer.) Slowly his eyes focused on the strange man, his rescuer, who was currently holding him awkwardly in his lap. He was the first human contact he had been allowed in over a week. Maybe that's why he seemed to be the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

_Yeah, let's go with that,_ Light thought as he openly stared at the pale face framed by a mane of shaggy black hair who stared back with _intense_ dark eyes...

"I am L." L watched a whole range of emotions flicking by on Light's face almost too quick to catch before he settled back on exhaustion.

_Why would L come down here himself? Does he feel he has nothing to lose in doing so? Still it seems very risky. It's as I thought—no doubt it's another test._

"I believe you. You're not Kira..." It was so much what Light wanted to hear...

_Took you long enough! _

"No hard feelings right?" L asked and Light swore he heard a mocking note in his voice as he offered to shake his hand. Light gave the man who was torturing him for days a strained smile.

"Right..." and weakly accepted the proffered handshake. L continued to stare at him with his soul-piercing stare. _Surely the __**normal**__ reaction would be to punch me in the face._ _Light Yagami. You are such a liar. _

In one swift motion L stuck the needle in his arm.

"WHAT THE _HELL?_"

Light made a feeble effort to get away but his atrophied muscles were no match for L who continued to hold him in his lap.

"**WHAT DID YOU DO?"** Rem roared. **"IF YOU HURT HIM—"**

"Save your threats, Shinigami. Even if you kill me others will carry out my will and Light will be executed as Kira."

"_I'M NOT KIRA!_"

Rem roared in helpless rage.

"It won't hurt him, I promise," L assured.

"_W-what did you stick me with?_" Light couldn't hide his rising panic as the room seemed to swim and distort around the edges.

"It's nothing special. Just a little something that relaxes the subject and lowers inhibitions, it slows thought processes down making lying more difficult if not outright impossible—a new experience for you, I'm sure."

"A... truth serum?"

"I wonder… have you ever in your life told the truth?" _Who are you really Light Yagami? I suppose we will find out soon enough…_

Light gaped at the face of the stranger who a moment ago seemed his salvation but now his eyes seemed hard and cruel.

"L, please! I'm not lying!"

"**He told you the truth!"** Rem hissed.

"And truth serums don't work! Testimony gained through them is inadmissible because the victim easily confuses fact with fantasy!"

_He won't give up until I'm convicted as Kira! _

"Which is why I didn't want to have to resort to this; but I need answers quickly and I feel you have them. Though I don't think you _are_ Kira... Are you?

"No!"

"Hmm... But I believe you have some connection to Kira..."

"I don't! L, we've been over this. I've already told you _everything _I know..."

"Perhaps... you do not know that you know…" L mused as Light began hyperventilating. "You're afraid," L noted astutely.

"Of course I'm afraid, you prick!"

_Hmm it's already taking effect._ L observed; Light Yagami usually made an effort to be polite to everyone even to those accusing him of being a mass murderer. "It's just I've kept you here a week. You've never shown fear."

"Well forgive me for being human."

_I somehow doubt that...You're just too perfect..._

"Just... relax."

Rem's wings snapped in the air, taking the World's Greatest Detective off-guard and effectively gained his attention. **"L…"** Rem growled lowly.

"It _won't_ hurt him," L was quick to assure the monster.

"How can you be so sure?" Light demanded. "You just stick me with some drug—you don't know my medical history!"

"I do. I know_ everything_ about you, Light-kun."

"Then you should know _I'm not Kira!_"

L opened his mouth to speak but then the Shinigami cut in talking over whatever L was going to say (much to L's annoyance).

"**Light, I have vowed to protect you from stalkers and perverts. May I please kill him now?"**

_Pervert, what?_ _No, what I said didn't sound perverted or stalker-ish at all, right?_ L thought as he continued to hold the weakened, drugged teenage boy in his lap. L went paler than usual. The Shinigami was not being rational. He already told it what would happen if it killed him. But would it kill him anyway?

"No, please Rem! You _can't!_" Light insisted much to L's relief.

"It's only temporary," L added quickly. "It will wear off in about a half hour. If he isn't Kira or connected with Kira I promise I will end his confinement.

Rem glared hatefully. **"See that you do."**

Before L could say anything more his phone rang. He retrieved it from the pocket of his baggy jeans.

Light briefly wondered what could have L looking so shocked...

"Light... it's your father. He had _a heart attack?_"

Drugged or not L never expected Light Yagami to break down sobbing, the boy's face was pressed wetly against his chest.

_Well... shit. _

"_Why couldn't you just listen?_" Light shouted in angry, hopeless despair.

"My condolences."L said levelly, taken aback by Light's extreme show of emotion. Sure he was expecting Light to turn this into some cheesy "poor me" pity party but...

_This seems... genuine. But the Kira I know wouldn't hesitate to kill his own father... But both Light and the Shinigami seemed genuinely shocked at the news. And when would he have had the opportunity? Are you really not Kira? _

L nervously bit his lip as the Shinigami loomed above them. L had no way of knowing Rem was forbidden from physically attacking him so he spoke quickly, more to assuage her than to comfort the sobbing teen. "Er... there, there..." Dammit, he was never good at this interpersonal stuff!

L waited for Light to calm down a bit (and for the drug to take hold) before asking "Light-kun. Can't you please tell me who Kira is?"

"I told you I don't know! I wish I knew but I don't. He killed my father. I wanna kill the sonnuvabitch myself," Light slurred weakly clenching his fist.

"That's only natural," L prodded.

But then Light seemed to realize what he said and to who, "Shouldn't. Not right! To even _think... _They're bad thoughts." L was momentarily taken aback by Light's determined mantra of "I never used it. Not gonna use it!" through angry tears.

L frowned. He had to work quickly. It seemed the drugs were running their course faster than he anticipated. "Let's start at the beginning. How did you come to Kira's power?"

Light mumbled something about finding a weapon lying around much to L's annoyance. _He's still sticking to his story._

Well then L figured it was time to try a different tactic now that Light's defenses were down and he didn't have enough presence of mind to deny it...

"These cuts on your arms—how did you get them?" When Light began breathing raggedly L knew he had hit the jackpot. "Tell me!" L demanded.

"STOP IT!" Light shouted. L watched astounded as Light's eyes rolled back in his head and he let out a succession of pained cries.

"**What are you doing to him, L?"** L balked a bit as Rem got in his face. **"Stop it or I will…"**

"Nothing! I'm not doing anything to him! He's having some kind of panic attack! A post-traumatic episode," L persuaded quickly. "The best thing for him would be to talk about it—if he's not Kira than he has to fear from this, Rem-sama. In fact talking about it would probably be the best thing for him."

"He's cutting me," Light whimpered. "It hurts... Please make him stop!"

"Who's cutting you, Light?"

"I don't know! I don't know him! I've never seen him before!"

"Where are you, what's happening?" L pressed for details as Light continued to thrash about seeing but not-seeing.

"I'm... I'm in an alley. It's dark. It's nighttime..."

"What are you _doing _in a dark alley at night?" surely Light had more sense than that!

"Walking home from school! Stayed late studying... trains stopped. He wants me to... _no..._"

"Wants you to do what, Light?"

Light clenched his eyes shut trying to block out the images, the memories.

"He wants to... he wants to... _rape_ me."

"**Enough, Low—!"** Rem began to pronounce L's name aloud but stopped. L blanched. **"This is hurting him. You will stop." **

"Rem?" Light asked in a weak voice.

"**I'm here," **the Shinigami assured.

L noted how Light seemed to relax a bit when the monster crouched next to him.

"Shhh..."L ran his hands through Light's hair without even thinking about it. "Yes, Light-kun, Rem is here and so am I. _No one's_ going to hurt you. You're safe."

The Shinigami drew Light into a hug which Light weakly returned. As Rem continued to glare hatefully at him L realized... "Did Rem save you that night?"

Light nodded.

"Is this true, Shinigami?"

"**Yes. Light is under my protection. You know this." **

_Yes that makes sense. But..._

"Light-kun, why didn't you report it?"

"_I'm not weak!_" Light ground out as he staggered abruptly away from Rem who looked surprised and apologetic at her human's outburst.

L caught him before he lost his balance and did something like crack his head open on the concrete floor of the cell. "You shouldn't try to walk yet," L reminded him. Light turned away, humiliated.

L blinked in confusion at Light's outburst. He had imprisoned career killers who had cracked under L's interrogation techniques long before Light without having to resort to pharmaceutical assistance. Getting into his head was easily more of a challenge than B... Why ever would Light think that L thought he was— "I don't think you're weak, Light-kun."

"Yeah! NOT weak..." Light nodded dreamily but then a dark look passed over his face. "They would... Couldn't defend myself. _Dad..._" Light cried.

L gritted his teeth. _We could have avoided all of this if you had just told me about this! Idiot! _

"Light-kun. Why do you lie all the time?" L asked in exasperation.

"Not lying!" Light slurred.

"You do! All the time! You pretend to be happy, perfect..."

"_Have_ to!"

"_WHY?_" L repeated again.

The boy looked feral as he spat "Because if I'm not perfect they won't love me!"

"**Oh Light…"** Rem whispered and reached out her hand... but fearing trampling on his independence again thought better of it.

L reeled as if he'd been struck. It was so _obvious_. He saw it time and again among the older recruits to Wammy's (that blonde kid immediately came to mind.) Geniuses like Light (like _him_), like the Wammy's kids, often had a whole host of psychological problems: feeling isolated, being emotionally neglected, and unable to relate to the people around them. Everyone fussed about _what _they were doing but showed no concern for _how_ they were doing as a person. L knew this. It was a hard-won lesson taught by his first students, A and B. After which L had made sure to correct this in Wammy's own program.

"No one's perfect, Light-kun."

"I HAVE to..." Light groaned again.

L sighed as Light continued to babble near incoherently. It seemed the drugs worked too well. Even _he_ was having trouble making sense of Light's rant.

"Not normal. I have to be better! I'm a freak... not a killer... Sometime I wish I was..."

L gaped at his suspect. "Sometimes?"

"I have bad thoughts. Why does no one else try?"

L captured Light's chin with his thin, strong fingers and studied his face trying to get a reading on all this and forcing Light's attention back on him. "Do you _sometimes_ want to kill me?"

Even though he was drugged, even though L had locked him up and tortured him, L was still expecting a stream of protests...

Light cast his eyes aside. "I'm a bad person."

_Light... you really aren't Kira? _

"No... I don't think so." L looked amused at the flash of annoyance on Light's face that L continued to disagree with him. But then it was gone and the teen simply smiled sleepily, and his gaze, unfocused, fell upon L's hair.

"Wanna touch it..." Light mumbled as he weakly lifted his hand and ran it through his cascading locks. "Soft..."

L naively ignored Light's "bizarre behavior" as he continued to study the drugged boy, unconsciously getting closer...

"You smell nice..." Light said in a hushed tone. L made a startled noise as Light closed the scant few inches between them and claimed his mouth with his.


	7. The Deal

**A/N:** I do not own _Death Note_

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**Chapter 7 The Deal **

L gaped shell-shocked at the boy who had just passed out in his arms after he... kissed him.

L's brain froze. _Why did he __**do**__ that?_ L swallowed hard as he tried to come to some rationalization to Light's most _illogical_ action. _He was drugged and deprived of human contact for a week. It's perfectly natural he would... right? _L thought furiously as he stared at the damn stubborn teen that had the nerve to be sleeping like an _angel_ in his arms. L scoffed at that, trying to ignore the sickly feeling that had taken up residence in the pit of his stomach ever since discovering he was _wrong_.

No he wasn't _wrong_ per se; in fact his profile was spot on. Light was hiding something behind his mask of perfection—he was insecure, he was _damaged_, he had a whole slew of mental issues—there was just one small problem... he wasn't Kira.

_He was __**supposed**__ to be Kira._ _I __**wanted**__ him to be Kira._ _This intelligent, prideful, fascinating, beautiful... wait what? _ L glared in irritation at the sleeping boy. _You may not be Kira but you're no angel. How dare you?_

L was not built to handle emotions. In fact he was trained to ignore them, suppress them. He never claimed to be perfect but to find he had been so _wrong_. It left him feeling _stupid_—and that left him with nothing.

His intelligence was all he had.

L admitted to himself, he had been a bit envious of what he saw as Light's perfect life. Growing up he would have gladly traded places with Light who had a family, friends, a stable home, regular meals... But Light had had all those things but he wasn't better for it. He was _worse_. After everything L had been through it was just _sick_ that he was more psychologically sound then...

L had known many hardships throughout his life but in facing those hardships he had been challenged and in facing those challenges he had become stronger for it. Through those challenges he had learned, to his chagrin, humility, that he wasn't infallible. He was smarter than everyone else but even idiots sometimes have valid points—to his mortification he just had that lesson pounded into him again. (After all, he still didn't like losing.) But then Light's life wasn't so perfect-the teen had always been alone, his intelligence setting him apart even as he played the role of being an "ordinary student." L at least knew others like him existed, though he always saw them as threats. Light was no exception, even if he wasn't Kira. Light was very dangerous because he was so damn _confusing! _

He wanted badly to blame it all on the sleeping boy—he never claimed not to be petty and Light shared as much of the blame—if he had just _told_ him everything from the very beginning! But then that would be impossible for someone like Light. He would rather slowly drown than admit being out of his depth. In that way they were exactly the same...

L sighed and pulled out his cell phone "Watari, get the stretcher."

"Sir?"

"I am ending Light Yagami's confinement."

There was a pause on the other end that spoke volumes before Watari answered "Very well, sir."

L stood up easily carrying the younger man who felt practically weightless in his arms; even if Rem had been feeding him he had lost a lot of weight. As L carried him out of his cell and onto the stretcher he whispered a soft apology that really was only for the benefit of the boy in his arms, and not for that steady flap of leathery wings behind them...

The raven-haired man had somehow managed to undertake the awkward task of changing Light from his ruined clothes, the clothes he had worn throughout his confinement, into a hospital gown with minimum embarrassment (and maximum glaring from Light's self-appointed guardian). Though L couldn't help but stare throughout. He _couldn't_. After all, he was L, he was _always _staring, always curious—he was just processing information—you never know when data such as how big Light is _down there_ or how tight he was _back there_ might become relevant to an investigation. He was just interested. Actually he wasn't sure _why _he was when that was the very last thing he should be pondering but his eyes were drawn there nonetheless. He was honorable enough. It's not like he molested him in his sleep for crying out loud. Okay so maybe he had a little bit of trouble getting the pants off and had touched him more than was strictly necessary. But it's not like he was _trying_ to feel the curves of his ass.

L was mostly just aghast at how gaunt Light had become. L could feel his vertebrae right through his skin—he could almost pass for a Shinigami. L felt another pang of guilt. He'd pay for the hospital bills. And cake. Cake would help—cake solved everything.

L gently set Light in the bed and Watari set up the I.V. drip.

_We'll keep close watch on him but_ _Light is young and in good health. He should be able to bounce back from... what __**I**__ did to him._ L felt sick. He had never been so _wrong_ before.

Watari glanced between his ward, the suspect, and the watching monster. The elderly butler looked like there was something he wanted to say but L deflected having to have that conversation for the time being by quickly requesting information on the case. Watari no doubt saw through L's ploy but he left without a word.

The teen shuddered in his sleep. The Shinigami silently pulled the blanket up, tucking him into bed.

"L!"

Both the detective and Shinigami startled when Light called for him and grasped his hand in his sleep. The detective was thoroughly unnerved by this behavior. He couldn't handle this. He needed to get out...

L pried himself away from Light's demanding grip and with an air of finality began to make his way for the door when suddenly the Shinigami was there looming before him.

"Problem, Shinigami?"

**"You're just going to leave him?"**

L was confused. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Rem folded her bony arms across her chest. **"All I want is for Light to be happy."**

"Well what do you expect me to do about it?" He had enough of his own baggage to deal with without having to take care of Light's!

**"L Lawliet, I don't like you,"** the Shinigami snarled.

_Well, that much is obvious._ L bit back his tongue.

**"...But for some unfathomable reason _he_ likes you, finds happiness in your presence. It would make him miserable if you were to leave him now."**

"This was never my intention..." L said quickly. "it's a psychological condition. Stockholm syndrome..."

**"You _owe_ him."**

L sighed. "I know; I'll pay for therapy and..." L attempted to explain. Sure, maybe he felt a bit guilty for wrongfully imprisoning him... (_very _guilty actually. So much so it hurt to even _look _at him) but whatever Light's problems were, they weren't _his_ problems-catching Kira was... He couldn't afford to screw around with Light! So he figured he'd just throw money at it and the problem would go away...

**"Stay with him, L Lawliet,"** the Shinigami ordered.

L froze.

"What?"

**"Here's the Deal. Make him happy and I _won't_ kill you,"** the Shinigami decreed.

Just when L thought that at least he no longer had _that _hanging over his head he might as well have been handed down a death sentence. How did Rem expect to make him happy when...

"He's clinically depressed! How do you expect me to make him happy?"

Rem gave him a _look_ and the memory from moments ago he had already been trying to forget returned unbidden _"You smell nice" _and the feeling of soft lips moving against his own. His own imagination began to work against him as he recalled in perfect detail Light's naked form and exactly where that could lead...

L felt himself getting hot as he exclaimed "Oh, _come on!_ That... that was _nothing!_"

**"That was not _nothing!_"** Rem roared. L startled and stumbled back falling to the floor when the Shinigami spread her wings wide, making herself look bigger. Her lips drew back to bare her fangs, her claws outstretched... L recognized this behavior as an obvious scare tactic but damn if it didn't _work_. To his embarassment he maybe _cowered_ a little bit before the Shinigami's wrath. **"That was an act of _love_."**

Rem was furious. A Shinigami could be sent into _Agony_ for doing the same... A Shinigami could _die_ for doing the same and this human had the nerve to call it... **"That was NOT _nothing!_"**

"Okay..." L said flatly. _Am I understanding this correctly? The Shinigami wants me to be Light's __**boyfriend?**_

Sexuality wasn't even the issue. As far as L was concerned he didn't have one. Even if Light was a girl he still wouldn't consider it. He was L. L couldn't afford to have attachments clouding his judgment. He didn't have _friends_. He most certainly didn't have... Because L wasn't a person; L was a cause, a letter. He was L the Detective and that's all he could ever be.

But L was _never wrong_. L could never be wrong...

_How could I have made such a grievous error? I'm not worthy of my own title. Must I atone for this too? _

**"He _loves _you!"** The Shinigami insisted.

L had to stop from rolling his eyes. It was just his luck to have encountered a Shinigami that was a hopeless romantic.

"He obviously wasn't in his right mind when he..."

The Shinigami's eyes became hard. **"I see... your _truth serum_ would be enough to convict him but not to convince you of his feelings?"**

L cringed.

**"_You_ seemed to enjoy yourself,"** Rem pointed out reasonably.

"That's not the issue!" L sputtered.

**"I think it is."** The Shinigami's bones creaked as she crouched down so they were at eye level. Rem forced L to look at her, her eyes softening a bit as she asked

**"So tell me, how do _you_ feel about it?"**

"Is there an answer that_ won't_ get me killed?" L asked bitterly.

**"How about the _truth_?"**

L squeezed his hands into fists and looked away "Just looking at him… makes me _sick_!" L hissed. "I-I did that to him... I..."

**"Then you should be the one to make it right,"** Rem insisted sternly.

"I can't! Regardless how nice it felt... _Wait what am I thinking?_ How would you even know if Light was _happy _anyway? When his pain is so well hidden to begin with? How could you even TELL with him?"

**"If anyone could, it would be you."**

L startled when Rem answered him. He hadn't been aware he had been thinking aloud.

It went to show how unnerved he was by this whole proposition. L didn't even like _human contact_. And the Shinigami wanted him to...

**"I just want Light to be happy. That's all. Or is the _Great L_ not up to that simple task?"**

This monster was mocking him? L glared at the monster from beneath his fringe of dark hair and announced with determination "I'll make him happy!"

**"See that you do."**

"I _will!_ Just watch me!"

He would not lose.

Perhaps this was the best way to keep him close. Even without Rem's ultimatum Light still had Kira's weapon and Rem knew his knew his true name. It was foolish to ever think he could just wash his hands of this.

_It not like the Shinigami made me do anything I wouldn't do anyway. Light is an important witness to this investigation. Besides even though he's not Kira my profile wasn't wrong. He's a serial killer waiting to happen. He really should remain under my observation._

L crouched at Light's bedside as the teen stirred fretfully in his sleep. Without really thinking about it, L lightly pushed Light's soft brown sweat-drenched hair from his sleeping face.

No, he couldn't leave him alone.


	8. Hate You So

**A/N: I do not own. **

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**Chapter 8 Hate You So **

As the vile, looming shades of the army of Evil converged all around them Light the Ninja Warrior hollered to his faithful Shinigami companion "Quick Rem! Pass me my sword!" But Rem was nowhere to be found and then Light remembered he had given his sword away. "Where's my magic sword?"

"I don't know, Light where _IS_ your magic sword?"

Light jolted awake at the sound of L's amused voice.

"Wha—?" Light blinked confusedly against the brightness of the fluorescent lights and white walls—he was in a hospital from the look of it—yes, his senses were assaulted by the hospital smells on top of his own breath which tasted of rot. Light realized to his shame that he must look like hell—he hadn't been allowed basic hygiene for over a week.)

"You were talking in your sleep, Light-kun." L pointed out needlessly. "A magic sword, huh?"

L pondered that perhaps _THAT_ was that what the Shinigami weapon was? But that would be rather hard to conceal though, wouldn't it? They had already determined that the fiber Light had provided was some kind of paper which contained elements not of this earth. It must have been that unknown element that made it deadly because in any case a paper sword, hell a paper weapon of any kind didn't sound very threatening... unless it was death by a hundred paper cuts. But for that matter how could _paper_ produce heart attacks? _I really need to see this weapon for myself and in order to do that I need to win Light Yagami's trust. _

"What?" Light muttered defensively, his voice still groggy with sleep. "Magic swords are cool."

Light blinked, disoriented, when he saw L looming above him. L had started out crouching in the chair at Light's bedside but had essentially crawled into the bed with Light when the teen began muttering in his sleep. But Light now had the disturbing image in his head (that was also confusing, his stomach began to tie in knots) of the dark penetrating orbs of the detective's eyes scrutinized him as he slept, his thumb pressed against his soft lips... Light paled as he remembered the feeling of L's soft lips against his...

_Oh shit! _Light stared up at where L remained invading his personal space and Light's breath came faster. _That wasn't real, was it? That couldn't be—! _But Light knew by the slight smirk on L's face that it was. _Why did I...? How could I...? I'm not—! _Light suddenly felt very exposed in just the papery hospital gown under L's all-seeing stare; L, _his captor,_ who was far too close for comfort. Light wondered idly if it was possible to die of humiliation. _He won't try anything._ Light reassured himself. _Not with Rem here._

The Shinigami stood there, mutely watching them across the room, a stern expression on her face.

"Light-kun, how are you feeling?"

"I—"Light was suddenly hit by a wave of nausea L just barely gave him the trashcan in time.

L had been expecting that—he knew the after-effects of the drugs were not pleasant. "Are you alright, Light-kun?"

"Does it... look... like I'm alright?" Light grumbled between bouts of horrific dry heaving.

"I'm sorry," the detective said quietly.

Light glanced up from wiping his mouth on his sleeve, a surprised and incredulous expression on his face. "You're... _sorry?_"

"Very sorry," the detective insisted. Light noted how he wouldn't even look at him when he said the words.

Light took in a calming breath. _Things happened just as I expected they would happen when I came forward with this information. (Well, except for that last part where I KISSED him! What the HELL was I...? No, that couldn't have happened! It had to have been a dream... But then why did I DREAM it?)_

_I expected they wouldn't believe me and it was inevitable that I would become a suspect. It's just that I thought that L would figure it out sooner._ _(If only he did! My father...)_

Light sighed again. _L isn't God. I guess I'm just upset that he doesn't live up to the image I somehow had of him. The world is far from perfect and reality does not always live up to one's expectation. L is rude, stubborn, selfish, and arrogant but he's not a bad person. He was only trying to do the right thing. _

"_I'm sorry..." He apologized. I never really expected L to apologize. __It never even occurred to me that L might make a mistake. __In any case it's over and done with and it's utterly pointless getting mad about it now..._

"Alright," said Light as he began to struggle his way out of the bed.

"_What?_" L whirled around and was staring at him like he was some kind of alien lifeform.

"I accept your apology. Now let's catch Kira!"

L continued to stare. Light fidgeted, uncomfortably. "Light-kun..." the detective began and stopped again. L was very hard to read but his posture was... different from the way he was in the cell. He seemed weighed down, perhaps with something akin to guilt. "You are the most repressed person I've ever met."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

The detective sighed. "The doctor's said you shouldn't strain yourself but I suppose there's something you should know. Your father is down the hall."

_My father... he's still _alive? _You LIED to me about... _

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Light shouted as he put his fist in L's face. Though Light was still weak from his ordeal he still managed to put enough force behind it to send the detective sprawling. Under any other circumstance L would have given him an answering foot in the face. However at the moment L didn't dare retaliate because 1) Light's body was still weakened and he could do him serious harm 2) if he hurt Light then Rem would murder him 3) maybe, just maybe, he deserved that...

"That _hurt_." L grumbled but at the same time he was astounded that he had finally gotten a reaction like this. He was beginning to think that Light's politeness knew no limits. L rubbed his sore jaw and winced at Rem's glare. Oh yes, operation "make Light happy" was off to a terrific start...

Meanwhile Light had already managed to stagger his way down the hospital hallway, using his moveable IV stand and the wall for support. Every step was sheer agony—his muscles were screaming at him from lack of use—but he kept going out of sheer stubbornness while Rem hovered anxiously behind him.

**"Light, are you all right?"**

The teen glanced behind him and noticed how worried Rem looked. "Yeah, I'm fine or rather, I will be. Don't worry about it." The ever perceptive Shinigami detected the sullen note in Light's voice.

**"Light, what's the matter? You know you can tell me anything."**

Light sighed_ I'm not "repressed"! _"It's just L. He's _infuriating!_ I mean, _how could he? _How_ could _he lie about my father? How—? The... _asshole!_ It makes me want to scream. I just... I _HATE_ that guy!"

**"You do?"**The Shinigami asked in obvious confusion.

_Do I?_ "Of course I do! He's a lying, manipulative, egotistical, selfish, stubborn _bastard! ...WHAT?_" Light demanded when he saw the way that Rem was staring at him.

**"But, it's just... you kissed him."**

Light stopped in stunned silence. _Shit._ _That WAS real?_ He unconsciously lifted his hand to his lips.

**"But if he is upsetting you and you want me to kill him..."** Rem offered.

"NO! " Light shouted with such ferocity it startled the Shinigami. The teen seemed embarrassed by his own outburst. He composed himself and continued in an even tone "I mean... no, that's not necessary, Rem."

**"I see."**

Light eyed his friend warily as he hastily explained "Just because I can't stand the guy doesn't mean I want him dead! He's an amazing detective—the BEST. I need to work with him to catch Kira. Don't you see if we don't it would all be for_ nothing_."

**"Yes, I didn't think you'd want me to."**

Light looked at the Shinigami in disbelief. "Then why did you even say it?"

**"Because you don't hate him."**

_Uh, yeah. I'm pretty sure I do..._"Oh really? What makes you say that?"

**"If you truly hated him you wouldn't trust in him like this or value his opinion. You wouldn't even want to be around him after what he's done."**

The teen paused in his labored steps, leaning against the wall for support; an utterly mystified expression crept across his face. Rem was right. His reaction was strange. (She had noticed his reaction was strange and if she noticed than L was sure to have noticed... Had he just put more suspicion back on himself by acting this way?) Even after L locked him up, lied to him about his father (_betrayed_ him like that) he was still looking forward to working with L—but that was just because he wanted to catch Kira! And... L is interesting. He only met the detective twice in person though he had long admired his work and the man, even with all his faults, was admirable too...

**"You don't hate him. You _like_ him and that's why it hurts."**

Light again covered his mouth with his hand, this time as if to try and stop the giggles that were bubbling up from deep within his throat. He began to laugh, a disturbing sound that was very fake, very loud, and very Light—it nearly covered up another sound the teen was making that sounded suspiciously like sobbing.

"Ah Rem," Light chided between bouts of "giggling," "I guess you still don't understand human beings!" The teen declared as he resumed his pained journey down the hall.

**"I suppose,"** Rem conceded and simply resumed watching her charge in mute silence.

"...and it didn't mean anything..." Light huffed indignantly, more to himself than to his audience. "...I was under the influence of L's rolfies, _that's all!_"

"That's a rather tasteless comparison, Light-kun. I did nothing of the sort to you," said L.

"Oh _God!_" Light groaned. Rem helped steady Light and kept him from stumbling as he again leaned against the wall for support.

_Just how long was L following us, listening in? _

Light slowly turned around to see the detective walking towards him, wheeling a wheelchair.

"_Why_ are you following me?"

"I only wish to assure your safety, Light-kun. You really shouldn't strain yourself so soon."

"And whose fault is that?"

"It will be yours if you don't follow the doctor's instructions. You're not proving anything by hurting yourself. Now if Light-kun would be so kind as to get in the damned chair, then I'll take you to your father."

"I've had enough sitting for a while, thank you," Light replied archly.

"I'm afraid I must insist. Light-kun must realize he's an important witness to this investigation. I must not allow you to come to harm and I need to monitor you for your safety. I bought this hospital for that purpose."

Light stared. _He bought the hospital? Seriously?_

"You are in my protective custody. I have chosen to end your confinement on the good faith that you will tell me what I need to know and turn over Kira's weapon."

Light gritted his teeth. "You know I can't do that!"

L narrowed his eyes and stated coldly "I no longer consider you a suspect though you_ are_ obstructing my investigation by withholding crucial information. If I wanted to I could continue your confinement on those grounds alone."

"Of course I'll assist with this investigation in whatever way I can but I can't in good conscience turn over the weapon!"

"You see, Light-kun I cannot in good conscious unleash someone who owns such a weapon out into the world."

"Protective custody my ass! I'm still a prisoner! The only difference is I'm not tied to a chair," Light grumbled glumly. "Unbelievable! You know, for a moment there, I thought you might have changed into a decent human being. But no, you're still an arrogant prick!"

"You can view me however you like. But do know that I never meant to mislead you about your father. They just told me he had a heart attack. Naturally I assumed— I'm sorry. I understand why you must _hate me._"

Light felt a twinge of guilt. "It's... it's okay. L I—I don't hate you."

The detective stared with his usual poker face. "That's good Light-kun because I don't hate you too."

The teen reluctantly staggered his way over to sit in the wheelchair.

"Fine! Take me then!" Light commanded imperiously to cover his embarrassment.

The detective's smirking didn't go unnoticed by Light.

_What the hell is that about? _

To Light's annoyance L didn't begin pushing the chair right away but instead paused to fish something out of the pocket of his jeans.

"Care for a lollipop?"

Light raised an eyebrow at the offered treat. It was oversized, hot pink, and heart-shaped.

"You must be hungry and I hear that hospital food is atrocious."

_Does he mean anything by it? Is he making some sort of symbolic statement with this offer? Or is it just a lollipop? Am I over-thinking this? Maybe it was just a matter of the candy leftover from Valentine's Day was on sale. No, someone with L's power and resources-he can get anything he wants... _

Light analyzed that statement again and found himself growing hotter. Of course Light had just finished convincing himself he didn't really have those feelings and even if he did L would never return them... And sure, he liked and admired the detective but he didn't like him _that_ way. At least he was pretty sure he didn't...

_Kissing under the influence doesn't count! _

Light didn't even like sweets but hidden meanings aside, now that Light had gotten over his nausea, he was too hungry to care.

"Thanks." Light accepted L's candy and L began pushing the wheelchair. "You know... I know we've got off to a bad start but maybe we could still be friends?" Light hated how an almost pleading note had entered his voice.

"A friend.." the detective considered. "You know, I've never had a friend before..." the detective began as he wheeled Light down the hallway. Rem spread her pale batwings and flapped along behind them.

00000

**A/N:**_ In canon during the Yotsuba arc Light forgives L **awfully fast**, all things considered and is quite thrilled about the prospect of working with L. This leads me to two conclusions 1) Light _r_eally likes L, at least when he's innocent. 2) He's got some major issues even when he's not, you know, killing people. _


	9. For Kicks

**A/N:** _I do not own Death Note._

00000

**Chapter 9 For Kicks **

L paused in his wheeling Light down the hospital corridors when there was a sudden commotion in the hall ahead of them.

"Chief, you need to rest!" exclaimed Aizawa.

"My son needs me!"

"Dad!"

"Light!"

Both stumbled out of their wheelchairs and down the hall as fast as they could to meet each other halfway.

_Like father, like son._ L sighed as the nurses attempted to break up the touching father-son reunion. The detective left the wheelchair (and Light) in the care of one of the nurses and shuffled away—he felt he had no place in this family moment and he doubted his presence would be appreciated (not after what he had done.) Of course he would keep an eye on everything that was said and done on the monitors but honestly L needed some space to think… or maybe it would be more accurate to say 'not think,' to calm the swirling thoughts that had become tainted with emotion.

To his annoyance Rem followed him.

"Shouldn't you stay with Light?" L grumbled.

The Shinigami gazed down at him with those strangely emotive yellow feline eyes.

**"I need to stay close to Light, but that's within a certain range—around a hundred meters. My appearance clearly disturbs his father and that would make Light unhappy. Neither of them deserves this."**

_But I do? _

L locked eyes with the condemning stare of the Shinigami and then suddenly interested in the floor tiles.

_Perhaps I do… _

00000

L's foot again slammed into the punching bag. The chain creaked as the red bag swung back and forth from where it hung from the ceiling.

_How could I be so wrong? _

Not only was Light innocent but he had wasted so much time and they were back to square one!

_I tortured an innocent and I have nothing to show for it. _

_**Bam! **_L spun around and hit the bag again so hard that the bag nearly slammed into the ceiling.

Alright, that wasn't completely true—they now knew a bit more about Kira's powers—the scant bit of information they had been able to glean from talking with Light and Rem. But they were still no further in discovering Kira's identity.

_I'm not worthy of my own title. _L brooded as he swung around and kicked again. _Light, why couldn't you have just been Kira?_

"Watari said I'd find you here."

L startled and turned towards the doorway in shock (and nearly got hit by the bag as it swung back on the chain.) There was Light, standing tall and proud—even in that stupid papery hospital gown.

Light seemed to be putting up a grand show that he was alright. Indeed, he looked better than alright—the teen looked _menacing_ even with the Shinigami looming protectively behind him. L recognized Light's actions immediately for what they were—an act meant to salvage his pride…

"Should you really be up and around?"

That he asked was probably equal parts concern and a petty desire to trample the younger man's pride. L couldn't help it—the haughty teen had so much of it…

_He has no right to pretend nothing is wrong after what happened—after what __**I**__ did to him! _

"I've done enough sitting for a while, thanks," Light replied acerbically before he bowed and limped his way into the detective's makeshift dojo, his new cane tapping on the tiles as he walked. Light had managed to bargain with the nurses to let him make do with a cane instead of a wheelchair or a walker—his pride had been wounded far worse than his body and he was eager to begin the healing process. Light got around well enough by staying close to the walls and Rem was there to help him when he stumbled. Every step was agony but it was important to keep moving—of course Light knew from the outset that physical therapy wasn't going to be any fun but if he went easy on himself he'd never get better.

L winced guiltily and looked away. "How's your father?"

At the mere mention of his father Light's haughty act crumbled away. He stared at the floor, his bangs falling in his face, but the detective could tell from the teen's body language that he was obviously distressed.

Light had never meant to hurt him—he had only thought it was his own life he was gambling with—he never considered how his actions might hurt his father. That seemed impossible. His father was just… his father! The Chief of Police—stern, strong, and distant—as if anything could ever get to him! He had never even stopped to think about the stress he was putting his father through.

"Light…"

"The doctor says he'll be alright but he needs to rest."

"Oh?" L shifted awkwardly and in an idiosyncratic motion scratched the back of his left leg with the toenails of his other foot. "…That's good."

Light clenched his fists in anguish as he thought: _Will he really rest though with Kira still out there? No. He'll work himself to death!_ "L… We really need to catch Kira!"

The detective gave him a blank look. "Yes Light-kun, I believe we've already decided that that would be the best course of action… and please call me Ryuuzaki."

"So what are we doing _here, Ryuuzaki?_"

"I'm… depressed."

"What? Depressed?"

What did L have to be depressed about? He wasn't the one that was left to rot in solitary confinement if anyone had a right to be depressed…

"Surely Light-kun can understand why…"

"Well, we're not going to catch Kira moping around here! Officers are still dying!"

"That's why I'm depressed. You see all this time I thought you were Kira…" L pouted. "I wanted y—" L abruptly stopped midsentence when he glanced back and was once again saw Rem hovering protectively behind Light and remembered the Shinigami's words _"If you hurt him, I will kill you."_

_Crap… _

L usually didn't bother to edit himself and just blurted out whatever was on his mind. He never really had to worry about other people's feelings before… Other people's feelings—that was one mystery that the great detective L shied away from and hadn't a clue how to solve.

"You _wanted_ me to be Kira," Light finished his sentence for him and looked like he wanted to punch him for that.

_He won't though,_ L grinned bitterly to himself, _No doubt by the time he staggers over here he'll realize that I have my guard up. He saw what I did to that bag—and he must know he's in no condition for a physical altercation... _

L seemed to dismiss the approaching teen and turned his attention back to the bag. He was getting ready to kick again when Light struck, sweeping L's feet out from under him with the cane. L yelped and fell backwards but the teen caught him (and somehow managed to avoid collapsing) before the detective could fall and hurt himself. The detective spun around and stopped himself just short of kicking Light in the jaw when he again was sent a dangerous glare from the Shinigami.

"What was that for?"

"I think you know why!"

"I didn't say it!" L snapped defensively.

Light's grip tightened around his shoulders and stared at him, eyes ablaze with righteous fury. L wasn't at all comfortable with that, or the physical contact.

"But you were going to! You_ want_ me to be Kira!"

"…Yes... _No_. Light I—I _wanted_ you to be Kira, but I don't mean it the way you think!"

"What other way is there? You _want_ me to be a _mass-murderer!_"

"No. I just… I wanted Light-kun… I assure you _it's nothing personal!_"

Light watched in shock as it appeared that the great detective actually seemed rather flustered. He didn't know that Rem's presence alone demanded that L explain himself—and that L never had to explain himself to anybody before and because this was all so screwed up, and Light made him feel so guilty, and he still had no leads, and this conversation wasn't making Light happy in any sense of the word...

"If anything I meant it as a compliment!"

"What? A… compliment?" Light was so shocked he let go of his death grip and L took the opportunity to get back some space as he continued his rambling:

"Light-kun… I wanted you to be Kira because I am childish like that, I hate losing, and I find you fascinating, Light-kun."

The teen scoffed "You only found me 'fascinating' because you thought I was Kira! I know my life is not that interesting," the teen smiled weakly.

"Light-kun is plenty fascinating anyway," the detective assured.

"I still fail to see how you wanting me to be Kira is supposed to be a compliment!"

"You don't understand. I like a challenge. Most criminals are depressingly stupid and most cases are distressingly easy. This is the most challenging case of my career. I had hoped it was you because not only then would I have a suspect but I had hoped to play against someone as brilliant as you."

Light gaped at detective. The teen was always being told how brilliant he was by everyone around him but being called brilliant by _L? _That was a whole different level—that was indeed a compliment. The detective smiled cutely as he watched how the lightest beginnings of a blush spread across the younger man's cheeks. However in that same sentence the detective had said something else that Light found irksome: "P-Play? This isn't a game, Ryuuzaki! People are dying!"

_Like father, like son. _L sighed again. How predictable—of course the Chief was an honorable man but being "honorable" wasn't what L needed to do to win…

_Now if you were Kira you'd be more interesting... _L sulked. If not for the damned Shinigami's meddling he probably wouldn't have had anything to do with this annoyingly idealistic teen…

"_You only found me 'fascinating' because you thought I was Kira!" _

_Oh crap. He's right. I'm doomed. _

"Of course, Light-kun. People are always dying. Surely you're Shinigami can tell you that everyone dies sometime whether we act or not. It's sheer arrogance to assume that you can change that."

The teen looked like he'd been slapped in the face but instead of storming off like L figured he would the teen only gritted his teeth and drew closer. A strange thrill went through the detective when the teen refused to back down.

"I might be arrogant but at least I'm still _trying!_"

_You should have been my adversary. _L looked away and Light could see the curvature of the detective's back, as if he carried the burden of the world on his shoulders.

_Well he's L—the world's greatest detective—of course he does! _

"I'm actually glad you're not Kira, Light-kun, because if you were Kira… you'd probably beat me."

Light looked very disturbed by the detective's words. "_Don't talk like that!_ I'm not Kira! And you're L, aren't you? The man who's solved the world's toughest cases! You've answered some of the world's greatest mysteries!" Light again grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him right in the eye and insisted "_No one could ever beat you!_"

L stared disbelieving into the younger man's earnest face and remembered the Shinigami's words: _"He loves you!" Well… _L thought in wry amusement _I have a fanboy in any case... _The smile disappeared as quickly as it came because L knew firsthand how dangerous fanboys could be.

"I'm sorry, Light-kun… for everything. I'm sorry about… _whatIdidtoyou_ and I'm sorry I'm not what you think I am. Light-kun, I don't do this because I think it will make any sort of difference. I solve cases—that's all. There's always another criminal—that will never change. This world is rotten and no one can ever hope to change that. No... I only solve cases because I'm bored."

It was a long shot but the detective figured if he could attack the boy's obvious idealism maybe he could make Light become… disinterested in him then perhaps he would be absolved of any responsibility for the troubled teen because clearly making Light happy would be impossible…

Instead Light only recognized his own despair. _L said he was depressed…_ _he's still upset about… Oh no, I've been so selfish!_

"Ryuuzaki… you know I don't blame you, right? I think you just did what you thought you had to do. _I forgive you._"

The detective looked at the teen, aghast. "Light-kun… _Why can't you just be a bastard?_" Not only does he turn out innocent but he has to act like a freaking saint! It made L look and feel like a bully. "Really, _what is WRONG with you?_"

"Excuse me?"

"I kept you locked up! Get angry, hit me, yell at me, _something!_ Just don't say—"

"But… I meant it!" Of course he did, that's what made it so infuriating. "You just made a mistake!" the teen insisted.

"L doesn't make mistakes!"

Light rolled his eyes. "Now who's being arrogant? You're human, aren't you? Even I realized I fit the profile perfectly. If I was in your position even I would have suspected me…"

"Don't… I'm not supposed to make mistakes! _I'm not worthy of my title!_" In a rare show of emotion the normally stoical detective growled and slammed the ball of his foot into the bag again.

"Your… title?"

L sighed "I suppose there's no harm in telling you—even if you are working with Kira then you and your Shinigami friend may know even if you kill me—that there will always be an L. L is a title, an idea, not a person."

"But _YOU_ are a person."

L noticed the hand on his shoulder and the look of concern. Stockholm syndrome—that had to be it. How else could the teen he had kept imprisoned become so… _attached_ to him so fast?

L locked eyes with Rem as he informed them. "I am expendable, I always have been. Hypothetically if you were Kira and were to have me killed all that would happen was the next L would arrest you…"

"That again? Dammit, Ryuuzaki! Stop talking about dying! You're not going to die now and I'm not Kira—get that through your head! Look, I see where you're coming from. I know you're depressed and I know you're upset about being wrong but _so what?_ You just made a mistake! It can happen to anyone! No one's going to make you fall on your sword! You know why? Because you're not expendable! I don't care what you or anyone says—you are _irreplaceable!_"

"Light-kun…"

The detective's throat went dry as the younger man who should by all rights hate him argued so passionately on his behalf.

"That's not true, I—"

"I don't care how many other Ls there are! _They'd suck!_ They wouldn't be_ you_. Ryuuzaki, the taskforce needs you; _I need you_… to solve this case."

"We don't even have a suspect…"

"Then we'd better get to work, right? It's just a setback, nothing more. I know you can do it. We can do it! We _will_ do it!"

_So infuriating!_ To L, Light was an annoying, boundless fount of optimism and he seemed incapable of realizing when everything's gone to hell. Still L didn't dare to take his anger out on the teen so he took it out on the bag and this time the bag _did_ hit the ceiling.

The teen watched wide-eyed. "That's—that's really impressive, Ryuuzaki. What style is that?"

"Capoeira. It's a form of Brazilian martial arts."

"Cool!"

L fidgeted awkwardly as the teen continued to make impressed noises.

"C-could you maybe teach me?"

L sent the teen another blank look. "Why would Light-kun need it? He has a Shinigami to take care of him."

Light had wanted to learn some form of self-defense ever since that night in the alley when he almost died but he never seemed to have time...

"_Please?_"

"…Light-kun should take it easy until he's recovered…" L began but saw that the teen had already set his cane aside. He was able to (weakly) stand on his own and was already trying to copy his moves.

L sighed. _Just what I need. Another B. _

No, L amended, this wasn't the same. B developed his obsession because he believed L spurned him. L didn't exactly have that option with Light. He found he didn't exactly _want to_ either—though L found the teen to be a bit irritating he wasn't exactly _repulsive_ in fact L found he enjoyed arguing with him—watching that perfect mask slip and Light get all ruffled, it was a delightful experience—like finding the cream filling in the center of a delicious treat. It's just that L wasn't supposed to have such emotional weaknesses and the idea of having a… _relationship_ of any sort with anyone was… _strange_ to the detective.

"No! Stand like this…" L rationalized that if Light was so eager to learn it than he best learn it correctly, that's all. "Like _this!_" L insisted as he moved up behind him and put his hands on the teen's hips adjusting his stance. The detective swallowed hard when he realized, awkwardly, that all that stood between his hands and the teen's bare skin was that thin, papery hospital gown. Dammit, didn't he send the taskforce to retrieve Light's personal effects? Where the hell were they?

Meanwhile Light, still weakened from his ordeal, tried to copy L's move—his foot hit the bag… the bag barely moved and Light cried out as unfamiliar pain shot into his foot.

00000

Heavy breathing, grunting, and the occasional cry of pain could be heard through the wall.

"_Well, that was disappointing, Light-kun." _

"_What do you expect? It's my first time!"_

"Er… maybe we should come back later…" Matsuda murmured, his cheeks turning bright red.

Aizawa looked like he was about to have a vein pop out of his forehead "Don't be a pervert! There's no way they're doing what you think they're doing!"

Matsuda grinned. "Wanna bet?"

00000

"Hey, I can learn anything! It's not my fault your teaching sucks."

"Do you want to learn this or not? Do it _this_ way!" L demanded, as he again grabbed the younger man causing Light to become overbalanced and they both ended up in a tangled heap on the floor with Light on top of him, straddling his hips in a very compromising position—their faces scant inches apart.

They both froze, their chests rose and fell as they both panted hard—the sweet and spicy smell of each other's sweat filling their nostrils—as they stared deep into each other's eyes.

_I… we shouldn't… _Came Light's halting thoughts but it felt so good he couldn't find the will to move.

Light thought for sure that L would just kick him off but instead rolled them over so that he was on top and then closed the gap between them, aggressively claiming the younger man's mouth with his own. They were both sloppy and inexperienced but more than made up for it in enthusiasm.

_What the hell is L doing with his tongue? _The teen tried and failed to suppress the low moan as the older man moved his body against his as he explored every corner of Light's mouth with his tongue. Light's weak pawing at the other man's chest only spurring him on as he continued plundering his mouth until it became necessary to come up for air. But L didn't stop in his attack; the teen couldn't stop himself from making a soft whine as L began slowly running his tongue over Light's throat. Meanwhile, Light felt a hand dipping down beneath the folds of his hospital gown…

That's what the investigators saw when they peaked in the door before the Shinigami seemed to pop up out of nowhere to block their view, though they could still hear them:

"_Ryu-Ryuuzaki!_"

"_Oh Light!"_

A glare from the Shinigami suggested strongly that they give them their privacy.

"HA! I knew it! Pay up!" Matsuda crowed triumphantly once they were down the hall and out of earshot.

Aizawa grumbled but got out his wallet.


	10. Chapter 10

**NOTICE**

I apologize in advance for spamming and I apologize to everyone who thought they were getting an update. I usually don't do the whole author note chapter thing but I thought it was the best way to get the word out before my account gets deleted.

After ten years of no enforcement fanfiction . net is suddenly going to start enforcing a "no sex and violence" policy:  
www . change petitions / fanfiction – net – stop – the – destruction – of – fanfiction – net ? utm_campaign =friend _ inviter _ modal & utm_medium = facebook&utm _ source = share_petition

I'm here frequently on fanfiction . net but I only just heard about this, so I figured it was important to get the word out.

I checked and the only warning on fanfiction . net I could see was a single note on fanfiction . net's homepage:  
"June 4th 2012 - Notices: ◦Please note we would like to clarify the content policy we have in place since 2002. follows the Fiction Rating system ranging from Fiction K to Fiction M. Although Fiction Ratings goes up to Fiction MA, since 2002 has not allowed Fiction MA rated content which can contain adult/explicit content on the site. only accepts content in the Fiction K through Fiction M range. Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions. Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA and has not been allowed on the site since 2002."

I know I don't exactly comb through mine for content and just rate it all M. But no doubt the vague descriptions of gay sex within these stories will offend the moral guardians.

Though I have to wonder what's left after you delete all the stories with sex and violence. There goes the Death Note fandom! And what about a fandom like... Saw?

If you don't think this applies to you then ask yourself, does your story:

Have action scenes?

Have romance scenes?

Mention a song?

**If you answered yes to any of those it is at risk of deletion.**

Or to put it another way would your story make a good episode of Sesame Street?

If yes you're probably safe but if no you may want to consider copying it over to another site.

Even if you don't think this applies to you it's still a good idea to have backups and considering they're going to suddenly start cracking down now after ten years of nothing they may be overzealous in their censorship. It would be a shame if a beautiful story is lost forever just because it says a naughty word.

So please move your stuff, copy your favorites before this goes into effect!

Some suggested sites:

livejournal . com

archiveofourown . org

deviantart . com

adultfanfiction . net

As for me, I will continue to write and update my stories—just not on fanfiction . net.

You can find me on Livejournal and archiveofourown. org as reaperlight and plannedbyreaperLight on deviantart . com

I would like to thank everyone, all of my readers and reviewers, for all their help and support and all the other writers out there keep on writing awesome stories!


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